#my doggo went mad at it trying to get it

[leviiackrman]

Good deed of the day: I saved a hedgehog in my garden!!

[opal-kitty333]

Had a dream and felt like sharing because it had horrorfell Sans and college for some reason. This is my second college and skeleton related dream I've had (the other is in my drafts still). Anyway, dream rambles under cut

I was alone at a bar, only planning on having a light drink and a bite to eat before I went home on my own. Got lowkey adopted by Doggo who helped me figure out how to interact with monsters giving me hassle without starting a fight (Because this was a horrorfell verse and monsters were still a little spicy after everything). This was needed because one guy tried to harass me and Sans was staring at me all god damn night. The gist of it was just relax and act like it doesn't bother you. If they know they're getting under your skin, they'll keep prodding to trying and get you to start escalating things so they have an excuse to start fighting you. Ignore 'em and they'll move onto a better target. This was hard to do because Sans made me uncomfortable, but eventually Doggo got me to relax. He knew the guy well enough not to mess with him, but that he probably wasn't going to actually cause an issue. After a long night with Doggo, drinking a lot more than planned because I was having so much fun, I have to go home. It's nearly four am. Doggo doesn't trust me to get home on my own (he shouldn't, I can hardly walk). Sans gets up after after never saying so much as a word to me this whole time. No one has much chance to react because he's decided to help me apparently without saying or explaining anything, just teleporting me and himself to the closest bus stop. So I'm alone with Sans now, who is fucking massive. And creepy. He asks if I know how to make it home right now. His voice is quiet but very Rumbly and deep. I check my phone, and the bus doesn't start running for half an hour. I explain this to him and that it's an hour long ride home, I'll get an hour and a half of sleep, then have to bus back for college cause we're actually pretty close to my campus. My glorious decision, because I'm a drunk idiot, is to find a place on campus to curl up and sleep till it's time for class. I'll get more sleep and won't have to wait for the bus and he can leave me alone. Perfect logic with zero issues. Sans doesn't bother fighting with me. He just takes me home with his teleporting ability. His home. I realize I am in a scary stranger's home with no idea where I am and way to drunk to think properly. Aka I'm fucked and have to try and play this cool so I don't die horribly. Sans tries to put me to bed (his bed) and give me some soup to eat so i have something in my stomach. He's barely talking this whole time and the soup vaguely smells of blood. I am convinced he's trying to feed me people. I don't trust him at all. He leaves the room to get me a drink and I pull a "oh fuck I tried to eat your soup but I spilled it all on accident I'm so sorry and clumsy D:" He doesn't get mad, just cleans it up and goes to the kitchen to make me something else to eat instead. I sneak out of his room and make my way to the kitchen to try and totally catch him putting human in the food, and instead get his brother asking who the fuck I am. If Sans is big and scary, his brother makes him look like a lil teddy bear. Papyrus is tall, loud, articulate, and very mad that I exist in his house without permission. I decide that I am much more comfortable with Sans since he's trying to be nice to me and scamper back to his room. Sans follows shortly after with some rice and ground beef that I eat quickly and immediately lay down. He stays in the room with me as I go to sleep and I am too tired and wigged out by his brother to fight this. And then I woke up in my room and realized that was all a dream. Funky

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

The Snake Who Lived and The Order of The Phoenix

What if Harry was sorted into Slytherin?

Year 1

Year 2

Year 3

Year 4

Voldemort managed to return to power despite Harry not being a Champion, and he even retained the support of Crouch Junior! Let's see where this goes.

I didn’t really go into detail about Harry’s reaction to the House of Black, because for all we know, he may not have even seen it until this year. Or he may have. But either way, his reaction is the same. It’s alright, the severed elf heads and the screaming racist portrait notwithstanding. Having watched Dobby suffer for years and not having a muggle-born friend who Kreacher regularly insults, Harry might ask Sirius to consider being a bit nicer to him. Remus definitely would too, so they can gang up on him and pressure him into being a better person. Giving small gestures to Kreacher, like letting him keep some of the trinkets they would have otherwise thrown out. Like say, a big gold locket…? Perhaps. And perhaps Sirius won’t kick Kreacher out over the holidays. Hmmm. 

Remus initially hides the copies of the Daily Prophet that smear Harry, but Sirius finds them and it leads to a small argument before they show Harry. Everyone is mad, but regardless of what Dumbledore says, Sirius will never just keep Harry in the dark. For his own good or otherwise. 

I’m really not seeing how The Dementor attack can even happen here. Even during the time that Harry spends at Privet Drive, Sirius would be there as Padoot. The Dursleys are likely confunded or fed some kind of calming potion so that they accept the big doggo, but the point is that if Harry went out for a walk, Sirius is likely to be with him. Voldemort can’t do anything because of The Blood Wards, but Umbridge is going to have to get more creative. Or is she…? Okay, I have a solution. Harry is still training in Animagery, right? Suppose he successfully completes his training this summer? And when I say that, I mean he and his guardians manage to brew the potion and he takes it. As for his form, I mean…probably just a Stag. I see no reason to deviate from that. So yeah, he turns into a Stag. He has no plans to register, and that, my friends, will be his undoing. The Ministry conducts a bogus raid on the House of Black and likely finds (or plants) enough evidence for them to bring Harry in on suspicion of being an unregistered Animagus. Might seem like I’m reaching a bit, but honestly, they’re reaching too. Umbridge and Fudge were always going to find a way to put Harry on Trial/try to have him expelled, The Patronus was just how they did it in the original timeline. With that in mind, the “how” is secondary here. 

The problem then becomes everything else they have on him. So yeah, in this timeline, The Hearing… It doesn’t go well. I just can’t imagine the Wizengamot voting in majority to clear Harry of all charges, not with the record he’s accumulated. Even with Dumbledore there to stir the pot, I see Harry getting convicted, and expelled from Hogwarts. Well holy shit, talk about a Butterfly Effect, am I right? Now relax, because Dumbledore isn’t going to take this lying down, but for the time being, Harry is in serious trouble. One plus side is that he runs into Lucius Malfoy as in the original timeline (he was lurking outside the trial to begin with) and guess what? He’s able to pass Lucius a book that contains a sock, telling him the book belongs to Draco. Like the fool that he is, Lucius passes the book to Dobby, and even though Harry’s scar prickles in the passage, he seizes his chance, telling Dobby to check inside. This causes a scene at the Ministry, which is an added benefit as he made Lucius look like the fool that he is, though a lot of the Ministry officials who witnessed this feel that Harry was dirty and underhanded - again, they don’t see anything wrong with House Elf enslavement. 

So here’s a major problem: It seems to be tradition (or a rule, who knows) that students who get expelled from Hogwarts then have their wands destroyed as part of the process/punishment. It was done to Hagrid, and it was threatened to be done to Harry in the OG timeline. (Not sure if it was done to Newt.) I don’t know why the Ministry can just do this, as it’s not like the wands are school property or anything, and being expelled from school isn’t the same thing as losing your ‘license’ to practice magic…or I guess maybe it is? God, they live in a society. But see, that’s the problem: Harry’s not going to turn his wand over, especially if he’s not allowed to just get another one - and that seems to be the rule, otherwise why would Hagrid have to keep using the concealed, broken pieces of his first wand?

I can see this evolving into a whole altercation. Ministry officials show up to do it, and Harry refuses to relinquish his wand. Sirius and Remus step in between Harry and the Ministry goons, who drop some lines about asking Sirius if he’d like to go back to prison. Just then, a letter arrives from Dumbledore, revealing that The Ministry has agreed to allow Harry to return to Hogwarts on a trial basis, but he’ll have to have a Supervisor who determines if he’s behaving himself. He’ll be constantly monitored and one toe out of line will lead him right back to door number one. Hey guys. Guys. Guys. Guess who his Supervisor is. I bet you already know, and I bet you’re all groaning. That’s right, it’s the hopping, giggling toad herself, Dolores Umbridge. Oh, Harry is in for hell. And given how Draco is a Prefect as well, and therefore also in charge of him? Oh, by the end of this year, Harry’s going to wish he had just turned his wand over in the first place. 

But here’s a wrinkle. If she’s Harry’s Supervisor, she can’t exactly teach Defense Against The Dark Arts, can she? Hey, guess who has an idea! I have an idea. The new Educational Decree permits the Ministry to select a teacher for Dumbledore, but only if he fails to find one himself. But Sirius is not happy about the idea of Umbridge shadowing Harry everywhere he goes and making him miserable. Would Professor Black please stand up? Yep, that’s right, he’s going to volunteer to teach Defense Against The Dark Arts, (despite both Remus and Harry being wary of the jinx) and Umbridge and the Ministry will hate it. But what can they do? He’s been cleared of all charges, and Fudge is regretting the hell out of that. 

The Weasleys would, at some point, come to stay at Grimmauld Place like they did in the OG timeline, because Sirius still volunteers it as a base of operations for The Order. But I’d say that overall, he’s in a much healthier mental state in this version of OOTP, as a free man. Harry gets to see Ron and Ginny, and learn about Percy’s estrangement from the family, to say nothing of Fred and George’s depression. Ron is a Prefect and Harry can’t really be jealous given how he dodged expulsion by the skin of his teeth and isn’t exactly winning any Badges these days. (Man, can you imagine Harry trying to go out on dates with Ginny, with Umbridge lurking in the corner and hem-hemming all the time? God, he’s in for a rough year…) 

Let’s check in on Voldemort. Or at least on his plans, which we hear from Snape at Order meetings, once they start happening. No big blow-up argument between Molly and Sirius as there’s no real call for it in this timeline, but frankly Sirius just tells Harry everything anyway, once the others are gone. Voldemort has the Philosopher’s Stone. He’s trying to gather followers, but he’s also after the mysterious “weapon.” (To this day, I don’t know why they describe the Prophecy as a weapon but alright.) Snape has also been able to confirm the return of Crouch Junior, though nobody has any clue how that’s possible, and everyone is now really afraid of Voldemort’s seemingly literal death-defying powers. 

Harry has an idea, and he calls out to Dobby. Who is now a free Elf, and is overjoyed to see Harry again, feeling absolutely indebted to him. I think he asks to become Harry’s Elf at this point and Harry doesn’t really have any reason to say no. Rest assured, this isn’t going to last for long. I’m just thinking that Dobby only found work at Hogwarts when he was with Winkie, and that hasn’t happened so far. But it will. Because Harry’s going to ask Dobby to find Winkie, and question her about Crouch Junior. 

Luna Lovegood. Harry might actually already know her at this point, if she’s Ginny’s friend. Actually, no, I don’t think Ginny and Luna were as close as they got until the D.A. started, but either way, Harry meets her on the train. She shows him the Quibbler, and I want to say that it has some article about how Voldemort is secretly possessing Harry using an obscure magical fungus, and not even Harry himself knows it. Because the Quibbler is always right when you look past the silly, extraneous details. 

Return to Hogwarts, except no reaction to the Thestrals this time as Harry still can’t see them. The Sorting Hat sings a new song, and Harry endures jabs from Draco. Indeed, a lot of people are whispering and buzzing about him after the Hearing over the summer. When he gets up to leave as everyone is dismissed, Umbridge is right there, and in her sickeningly sweet girlish voice, suggests they take a walk. When they do, she outlines the new regime: He is going to behave himself. If he doesn’t, she’ll be forced to punish him, and make sure he learns his lesson. All with those high pitched giggles. She tells him that she’ll be watching closely and from now on, she will escort him everywhere. Hogsmeade weekends and other entertaining activities will be at her discretion. Harry feels as though he’s going to be sick, and doesn’t shake her off until he reaches the Slytherin Common Room.

Indeed, Umbridge is everywhere. She even sits in on Harry’s classes, causing a considerable amount of buzzing and invoking the ire of several teachers. Included but not limited to McGonagall, Snape, and of course Sirius. Indeed, he causes a scene when he holds Harry back after class to talk to him, and when Umbridge won’t leave, he says he’ll take this before Dumbledore. Umbridge responds that she answers to someone above Dumbledore. Sirius offers a tired smile and remarks that there is no such person. Is it commentary on his society, a spark of actual loyalty to the man, or is he just trying to frighten Umbridge and get under her skin? (Remember, Umbridge also helped pass Anti-Werewolf laws.) Either way, this is about to get very funny, as Sirius transforms into Padfoot and uses that as motivation to make Umbridge go away, at least for a little bit, though she says she’s going to write to the Minister. 

Sirius and Harry have a conversation similar to the “Have a biscuit, Potter” scene in the OG timeline, except it’s much more open as Sirius sympathizes with Harry and urges him to just play along for the time being, as he, Sirius, works on a way to try and get rid of The Toad. 

But The Toad will have her revenge. She doesn’t like that Sirius is teaching his students actual defensive magic, or that his class sometimes gets side-tracked as his students ask him what Azkaban was like. Furthermore, she makes good on her promise to “punish” Harry for wrongdoing, which apparently includes having a private conversation with a teacher, who is also his Godfather. Doesn’t matter. She takes Harry back to the Slytherin Dungeon and makes him write with the Blood Quill. In this case, he writes “I will not sneak about.” Or something to that effect. But Draco catches sight of what’s happening before Umbridge sends him away. I mean, he is a Prefect, and it’s just like him to spy on Harry, so I can see this happening. Ready for a surprise, though? Draco is appalled. 

I mean, I’m not saying he voices this opinion or does anything about it. I’m not sure he’d ever admit that his initial gut reaction was of disgust, but it was. Draco is an entitled, spoiled bully who doesn’t have a clue…but he’s not a sadist. He doesn’t like violence, he doesn’t like actually physically hurting others. Sure, he was excited about Hermione’s death, but it’s not like he saw her mangled body. If he had, I think he might have changed his tune. It’s so much easier to align yourself with bigotry if you don’t actually see all the blood that gets spilled. Draco hates Harry but seeing him be literally tortured is going to affect him and not in a good way. On some level, he knows that it’s wrong. He just can’t face it. At least not yet. 

Harry’s a stubborn stag, and if we assume that Dumbledore is still ghosting him in this timeline, (and he’d have even more reason to) then he’s not going to tell Dumbledore or anyone else. I’d say it’s even more likely that he takes Umbridge’s control of his life as a personal challenge. She won’t let him play Quidditch, she won’t let him see Ginny, and so on. Not until he “earns” it, and earning it is going to take a number of late nights of carving “I will not sneak about” on his hand. Never mind that it’s O.W.L. year and he has homework as well. Meanwhile, Ron becomes Keeper alongside Ginny as Chaser on the Gryffindor team. 

So, the D.A. is unlikely to be formed in this timeline. There’s just no need for it. They have an adept teacher for Defense Against The Dark Arts. But he’s about to be seriously crippled, as another Educational Decree passes, limiting the D.A.D.A. teacher to defensive magical theory and essentially rewriting the entire curriculum to be useless. This is a problem…or it would be, except this is Sirius we’re talking about, and he blatantly ignores this new Decree, which is a whole other problem by itself. To this end, he tries to ban Umbridge from shadowing his classes, and both McGonagall and Snape back him. Sirius and Snape on the same side? It’s more likely than you think. Finally, Dumbledore steps in, and informs Umbridge (and Fudge) that during class hours, it is the responsibility of the teacher to keep Harry in check, and that Umbridge is no longer welcome to sit in on his classes. She tries anyway, and various enchantments kick her out, to increasingly hilarious effects. 

So in essence, there is a “D.A.” of sorts, but not really as Sirius is the one running it, and it’s just his normal classes, (complete with Remus coming in for the occasional guest lecture) which he instructs his students not to talk about - though of course they do, but Umbridge can’t really prove anything. She questions Harry, who rebuffs her, and hey, guess what? “I must not tell lies.” is back. Or maybe just “I will tell the truth.” On his other hand. But by this point, it’s getting harder and harder for Harry to hide his hands. He’s been wearing gloves and just claiming his hands get cold, but it’s creating awkward situations. Theodore has already glimpsed his hands, but agreed to remain silent. In a dark moment, he “jokingly” suggests The Killing Curse, but drops it when Harry looks disturbed. 

You know who gets Harry to come forward, though? At long last? I think it’s Draco, actually. I think for the first time in five years, Harry and Draco have a real heart to heart. Well, that’s putting it a little bit strong. Here’s how I imagine it: Draco wants to talk to Harry about why he’s wearing the gloves, but cannot express that this is what he wants to talk about. So he makes a few attempts to initiate conversation in the ways he knows how. Gloating about how he is once again the Slytherin Seeker, picking on Dobby when Dobby comes to see Harry - which reminds me, Umbridge hates both him and Crookshanks and tries to have both of them sent away. She fails with Crookshanks, but it’s agreed that students shouldn’t have personal elves, so his news will have to wait. Either way, Harry snaps at Draco and tells him to “go tell Umbridge on him” if he wants to do some real damage. 

Harry sees the pain in Draco’s eyes, and for just a moment, the mask slips. Draco snaps back, asking why Harry hasn’t just said something, gone to his precious Godfather or to Dumbledore and told them what Umbridge is doing. That Harry is Dumbledore’s favorite and Umbridge is clearly in the wrong. Tempers are running high, and Harry fires back that it’s not about being right or wrong - he has to win. Running to Sirius or especially Dumbledore is, I think, akin to giving up - at least in Harry’s mind. Draco is stunned and actually a little impressed. Tells Harry “That’s the most Slytherin thing I’ve ever heard you say, Potter…” Draco parts Harry’s company by telling him that, if Umbridge is doing this to him, odds are she’s done it to other people in the past. 

Harry is so thick and I love him for it. I’m just now realizing how much effort and energy he is dedicating to this war with Umbridge when there are much bigger fish to fry, but you all know this is exactly what he’d do. Speaking of those bigger fish, Dobby comes out when the coast is clear and updates Harry on Winkie. He got her a job in the Kitchens, but she clamped up about her previous masters. Dobby freely offers to do some unkind things to Umbridge with his Elf magic, the next time she hurts him. But Harry again rejects the help, instead freeing Dobby by giving him a Slytherin scarf, and encouraging him to take a job in the Kitchens as well. If nothing else, he doesn’t want to get in more trouble. He’ll have to take Umbridge down another way. And Draco’s words have given him an idea of how to do it. 

I said he’d come forward before, and maybe he would, but…no. Here’s the thing. Guess who else is keeping tabs on Harry and then hears raised voices in the Slytherin Common Room? Why, the Head of Slytherin of course. Umbridge was careful. She deliberately waited till the dead of night to give Harry his “punishments.” She memorized Snape’s schedule. Harry has not done this. It doesn’t occur to him that he’ll be overheard. But once Draco and Dobby are gone, Snape emerges from the shadows to interrogate him ferociously about how long this has been going on. He’s mad. He’s very mad, and he’s taking it out on Harry, which is hilarious because the anger is on Harry’s behalf. However, Harry knows what to do now, and he speaks up, finally talking in Snape’s language. 

“My Dad. My Dad used to make your life hell, didn’t he? Him and Sirius, all the time. Remus told me. Professor, this is my hell. Umbridge is my James Potter. These are demons I have to face alone. If I can’t handle the likes of her, then I don’t stand a chance against Voldemort.” 

Snape, like Draco, is genuinely moved by Harry’s sentiments, even if he’d sooner die than admit it. Harry is learning to talk, and think, like a real Slytherin. 

I said Harry knows what to do, and he does. Asking for help would be a show of weakness in this fight. But there’s a valley between asking for help and exploiting a resource, and that valley comes down to how much a person means to Harry. He won’t ask Sirius or Dumbledore or Dobby to help him take down Umbridge…but a stranger, or even someone he dislikes? That’s another story, and it so happens that one of his enemies is in a perfect position to systematically destroy Umbridge. This enemy has no loyalty or integrity, they have no reason to help Harry, but they serve their own interests and making gold is one of those interests. I am talking, of course, about Rita Skeeter. 

But how is he going to meet with her? I think he enlists a little help from Fred and George, recruiting Ron into the plan during Charms class, who then passes the message onto them, and they use one of the secret passages to deliver a classic to Harry at the Slytherin Common Room. A package of the prototype “Fainting Fancies.” He then has Daphne offer one to Umbridge on the morning of a Hogsmeade visit. She’s down for the count, and Daphne and Tracey move her into a nearby broom cupboard, locking it so she won’t be discovered. 

So Harry makes his way to The Hog’s Head, let’s say, to meet with Rita. I’d assume they’ve been writing to each other through Ron and Hedwig. Harry doesn’t even need to blackmail her (not that he knows her secret anyway) he just needs to take a page from the Malfoy book and pay her off handsomely. He doesn’t know she’s an Animagus but he does know that she has some method of spying on people or otherwise learning their secrets that is as of yet, undetectable. It is an educated guess that Umbridge has skeletons in her closet, and if Rita can unearth them, she can put them out into the world. But she offers an alternative solution. Don’t publish, blackmail. (So long as she gets paid a small fortune, it’s all the same to her.) Harry agrees with this plan. 

Is it cheating to use Pottermore content? I mean, it’s all canon, right? Well, *casts a cursory glance at McGonagall* perhaps not all of it…but I don’t see a film series rewriting Umbridge’s backstory anytime soon. If you didn’t know, her mother was a muggle and her brother a squib. And boy oh boy, does she hate being reminded of that. She doesn’t want anyone to know. With Rita’s help, Harry discovers these treats, as well as learning that her “Blood Quills” are 100% illegal. (I mean..they’ve got to be, right? It’s only a head-canon but, come on.)  She also discovers that Umbridge was behind the bogus raid on Grimmauld Place. She relays all this, probably through a fireplace phone conversation in the Slytherin Dungeons after hours. This isn’t enough on its own though, Harry is going to need proof. The word of Harry Potter, especially against a Ministry official,  is all but worthless right now. 

Quidditch time. Harry isn’t in the game and he doesn’t even get to attend, but Ron’s stage fright acts up and the Weasley is Our King meme is born, though it will still be a while before he reclaims it. Hagrid returns and Ron and Ginny are the ones who visit him to learn about the Giants, as obviously, Harry’s got a shadow. After Umbridge woke up in the closet and was discovered, she raced back to the Common Room but Harry beat her there, innocently asking where she’d been. But Umbridge knew Harry was behind it and gave him more Blood Quill lessons. She’s been cracking down on him harder and he knows he’s going to need to think of something clever, as he likely can’t slip away a second time to collect the evidence. 

It’s during a Potions lesson that the idea falls into place. Polyjuice Potion. He needs to use Polyjuice Potion. A bait and switch. He can’t have his Slytherin friends brewing it, not with Umbridge popping in and out. Ron is rubbish at Potions and Ginny is probably decent, but do you know who I think Harry goes to for help, possibly at her advice? Luna. Or maybe just all three of them, why not? They brew Polyjuice in the Third Floor Corridor, which is now deserted. On the day of the next Hogsmeade visit, Harry and Ron swap places and take each other’s identities before Umbridge shows up. 

Ron waits for Umbridge. She never turns up. Harry ventures back to Hogsmeade, meeting with Rita in the agreed-upon place, where she’s supposed to have vials of Pensieve memories that confirm her stories. But something is wrong. She doesn’t seem to have anything on her person. Harry realizes too late that this is a set-up, as Umbridge appears from around the corner, having waited for Harry to say enough to damn himself. She binds him and takes him by side-along apparition to the Ministry. 

See, The Hog’s Head was a bad idea. We know people can listen in there. I also wouldn’t be surprised if The Ministry wasn’t looking into Rita after the whole Cedric Conspiracy last year. If Umbridge discovered Rita’s dirty little secret, she could use that to leverage her into stabbing Harry in the back, as it’s Harry that Umbridge actually wants. She brings him before Fudge who gloats that he’s done it now, and his time at Hogwarts is over. Furious, Harry throws off his gloves and tells him that they’ll have to try harder than that to silence him. Fudge is confused, then disturbed, as he realizes what Harry’s hand wounds are, but he blusters and quickly dismisses it as not the point. 

Meanwhile, Ron goes to Sirius, as neither Harry nor Umbridge have been seen all day and it just doesn’t smell right. Surprisingly, Draco does the same thing in approaching Snape. Ron admits Harry’s plan to Sirius, who is impressed in spite of himself. Snape and Draco discuss Umbridge and her “methods” speculating on just how far she might go. Sirius and Snape run into each other and their mutual dislike becomes a problem, before McGonagall happens upon them both and extracts an explanation. She sends them to inform Dumbledore as she ventures to Hogsmeade herself, but everyone is long gone. 

Right as Dumbledore is being informed, he gets an owl informing him that Harry is to be expelled and his wand destroyed. He, Sirius, and Snape immediately take a floo-powder journey right into Fudge’s office. A huge argument ensues, and Umbridge’s black quill usage comes out. Sirius is about ready to kill her on the spot, though he also wants to know why Harry didn’t tell him. That will cause some drama. Umbridge is, much to her fury and dismay, subsequently dismissed as Harry’s Supervisor. Sirius tries to argue the whole Supervisor concept away, or that he can just do it himself, but Fudge steamrolls over this and says he’ll be in touch soon to appoint the new Supervisor, and that Umbridge will be investigated. 

I think this is where she snaps and tries to attack Harry, but Dumbledore is there so she gets blasted into kingdom come. Well, more like the nearby office wall, but still. Well, that’s it for Umbridge. Least for now. Harry is taken back to Grimmauld Place for the winter holiday as Remus and Sirius obviously dote on him. Sirius still wants to know why Harry never said anything about the Blood Quill, and Harry doesn’t really have an answer. He tries to convey that he wanted to win, but Sirius and Remus don’t really get it. 

Harry has the Dream, of Nagini attacking Arthur. The Weasleys come over, and they basically stay for Christmas after the fact. Harry is able to call Dobby to help seek and locate Arthur, bringing him to St. Mungo’s. Like before, Sirius has to stop Fred and George from tearing off to the hospital to see him, but they do eventually all go. They see Arthur, and they also meet Neville’s parents. Harry and everyone else is sickened, naturally, and Harry once again pleads with Dobby to find out as much as he can about how Crouch Junior can be alive. Oh, and the adults all have a conversation about what Harry’s dream means, leading to them dropping the line about Voldemort possessing Harry. Except this time, it’s Sirius and Remus, most likely, who are talking about it. Well, that’s gonna shatter the hell out of him. 

See, Ginny’s able to pull him from his slump even sooner this time, but it will still linger in the back of his mind. They’ve both been Possessed by Voldemort so they share that trauma, and it helps them bond even further. But Harry is hurt that Remus and Sirius would have a conversation like this behind his back. What’s more, he’s wrestling with a greater fear that comes to a head when he faces that Boggart that’s been lingering upstairs. I can’t remember if I have this as being the first time Harry faces a Boggart, but if it’s not, I totally should have done that, because Harry’s Boggart is himself as a Dark Wizard. It’s a little like the OOTP movie, now that I think about it. I feel like Remus is the one to see it, but Harry refuses to talk about it short of asking Remus not to tell anyone. 

Hey, remember when Snape turned up to inform Harry he’d be getting Occlumency lessons? Well, those lessons are totally still happening, but I don’t think Snape is the one to inform Harry personally. I think that job would be relegated to Harry’s new Supervisor - Kingsley Shacklebolt. Well, Harry’s life just got a whole lot easier. My first instinct was Rufus Scrimgeour, and honestly that sounds like it would be far more interesting, but *deep sigh* I promised myself I would do this based on what is most likely to happen, and realistically, Scrimgeour is way too busy to take on an assignment like this. He’s the head of the Auror Office at this point, so no. While it’s true that Fudge wouldn’t want one of “Dumbledore’s people” watching Harry, he has no idea that Kingsley is a member of the Order, Kingsley hid that very well. Either way, he’s here to notify Harry of the arrangement, so he might as well also tell him about the Occlumency, right? If Snape doesn’t have to go, why would he?

The mass breakout happens. This doesn’t really affect our heroes directly beyond freeing the one, the only, Bellatrix Lestrange. But that will have a greater impact later. The Ministry, unable to blame Sirius in this timeline, chooses to use Umbridge as a scapegoat and claim she was probably involved. Oh, I’ve just thought of something else - Wormtail. He’s in Azkaban right now, isn’t he? Yeah, he’ll escape too, though whether or not he joins Voldemort or just goes right back into hiding as a rat is a different question. 

Here’s something else to think about. Harry should be getting his position on the Slytherin Quidditch team back, right? Well, I’d theorize that the Slytherin Captain offers to redo Tryouts (I mean, Harry’s got a damn Firebolt) but Harry, in a surprise move, turns the offer down and says that Draco should be Seeker. After all the stress of dealing with Umbridge, I think Harry has had enough of dealing with enemies. He and Draco may never be friends but they don’t have to be foes - and there was a glimmer of potential in their last conversation. Not sure if Draco would take the gesture well, though. He might think of it as charity. Unless Harry doubles back to say something to the effect of “now we’re even.” 

Moving forward, man, a lot of stuff from the original timeline just isn’t going to happen. The D.A. isn’t here, and neither is Umbridge, so that’s not getting busted. No conflict with Marietta. No High Inquisitor either, so Trelawney doesn’t get sacked and Firenze might just be stuck with nothing. There’s still the “The Beetle at Bay” but, nope, we covered that earlier in the story. I mean Harry can have a Valentine's Day date with Ginny but I assume it would go well. Ron likely isn’t going to wind up with anyone in this AU, just by the by. I can’t envision him with anyone other than Hermione, though Ron/Lavender could still happen, and there are clues that Luna might have fancied him…we’ll come back to that. In the meantime, we need to talk about Occlumency. 

Harry has taken his first steps toward trying to understand Snape and see him in a better light. Snape has always struggled to respect Harry as a member of his House, but his recent comparison between James and Umbridge (something a Gryffindor Harry would NEVER have done, not even for tactical advantage) has really messed with Snape’s head and now he doesn’t know what to think of the boy. But perhaps these lessons will help him figure it out. Snape is more disturbed than he lets on at Harry’s memories of the Dursleys, including the one where he hexed them - and then it’s immediately followed by the time he Crucio’d Sirius. Snape tries to ask him about this, but Harry clamps up and looks so distressed that Snape pushes forward and attacks again. He sees Harry’s Boggart. But before he can concentrate on that, he sees the Door from Harry’s dreams (Oh yeah, he’s still having those, did I mention that?) as Harry recognizes it at long last. 

Meanwhile, Harry doesn’t trust Kingsley at all. I mean, he likes him just fine, as Kingsley is a cool guy. But Harry doesn’t know him, and he’s not about to start trusting a stranger whose sole purpose at Hogwarts is to keep an eye on him. Though Kingsley isn’t nearly so “hands-on” and he doesn’t “punish” Harry. Like I said, I think Harry was able to have his romantic Valentine's Day with Ginny. I’m sure Kingsley is more than willing to clear off for stuff like that. But still, between him, Snape, and Sirius - Harry isn’t exactly going to be getting up to any mischief. 

Snape’s Worst Memory would normally happen here, and it’s a pretty damn crucial cornerstone of Harry and Snape’s rivalry as well as Snape’s character as a whole. But I just don’t know if I can see it happening here. See, what motivated Harry to look into the Pensieve in the original timeline was mistrust in Snape, and in this version…against all odds, Harry pretty much does trust Snape right now. Also, Remus and Sirius have already given him a somewhat sanitized version of events, and combined with Snape’s biased version, Harry has more or less put the pieces together on what sort of person James was. I think this means Harry just…continues getting Occlumency lessons? They’re not exactly pleasant but Snape is learning more about Harry’s inner turmoil and it’s making him falter ever so slightly. 

Career Advice time, oh yeah. I have…no idea what Harry would want to do with his life at this point. Because it was only Crouch Junior’s advice that planted the idea of becoming an Auror in Harry’s mind. He never really entertained the idea of being anything else. It’s pretty clear that he was meant to teach Defense Against The Dark Arts, but that hasn’t really been shown off in this timeline much. But what’s extra funny is that Harry has Career Advice with Snape. Imagine if he told Snape that he wanted to teach D.A.D.A. too, oh, that’s hilarious. On the other hand, if he was in any way influenced by Kingsley, he might still want to take the Auror’s path. He could always go pro for Quidditch, having been influenced by Victor Krum, but hell, he just turned down a Seeker Tryout. I don’t see that in the cards for him. I think Snape would likely steer him in the direction of becoming an Auror, probably out of some self-loathing and instinct for Harry, that Snape is thinking “Don’t be like me.” 

No fireworks, and no swamp. Fred and George are totally still inventing, but they’re doing so with no budget, and they have no tyrant to oppose. So it’s just casual stuff. The Quidditch Final arrives and with it, Ron officially reclaims the Weasley is Our King joke and is properly crowned. As with before, Harry’s not playing, but unlike before, I don’t think Hagrid ushers him away. He’d definitely still take him into the Forest to meet Grawp at some point, but with Umbridge gone and Hagrid’s job not on the line, he doesn’t really need to sneak as much. Harry is definitely stunned and slightly terrified of Hagrid’s brother, but Grawp is as adorable as ever. “GRAWP WANT HAGGER!” Bless his enormous heart. Either way, Harry celebrates the win over Ravenclaw with Ron and Ginny. 

I think at around this point, Rita Skeeter would release an article discussing Harry’s childhood memories and - for a real stunner - his Boggart. If she’s still at large, it only makes sense that she’d keep pulling the same crap until she gets caught. Harry shows Snape the article and Snape is momentarily blind with rage at Harry for “taking this interview” but Harry, well and truly familiar with Snape’s bullshit by now, just cuts him off to say that he didn’t give Rita any interviews about his Occlumency lessons. That she must have been spying somehow. They resolve to catch her in the act, and stage another Occlumency lesson where they discuss false memories. (Just for giggles, let’s say they consist of Harry having a midnight duel in first year, brewing polyjuice potion in his second year, and eating some gillyweed just last year.) If all goes to plan, they’ll have proven Rita is spying, and will be able to turn the tables on her. 

Now it’s time for O.W.L.s. The pace has really slowed down, huh? But fortunately, it’s about to pick right back up. At least. I think. I dunno, I’ve got to figure this out. Because it’s time to discuss Voldemort’s plan, and how he would go about things. In the original universe, he uses the mental connection to stage Sirius getting abducted and tortured. He needs to motivate Harry to venture to the Hall of Prophecy in the Department of Mysteries and pick up Trelawney’s Prophecy as he and Voldemort are the only ones who can. That’s not going to work this time. Sirius is at Hogwarts. Voldemort needs someone Harry loves and cares about, who isn’t in an immediate vicinity where Harry can just check that they’re okay. But part of the reason this plan worked so well in the OG timeline is that Hogwarts had been drained of all the adults Harry trusted. McGonagall was gone, Dumbledore was gone. Harry legit just forgot about Snape, which says a lot. But in this timeline, they’re all here, and Harry trusts them - especially Sirius, who is also involved. Harry can ask any of them for help, especially since Umbridge is gone. 

Voldemort’s plan only worked because Umbridge had chipped away at Harry’s life piece by piece over the previous ten months. But speaking of Umbridge, she’s going to be the key. I don’t think she took defeat very well, I don’t think she had any intention of just letting the matter go. She would definitely want revenge on Harry, and who’s making the best offer? Well, there’s a rich and esteemed pureblood man with a lot of connections and ties to the Ministry. Yes, I can see Lucius reaching out at Voldemort’s behest to the disgraced Umbridge, and leading her into a trap rather like Wormtail did for Bertha Jorkins in the original universe. Voldemort is going to torture the hell out of Umbridge and break her mind - she spent a great deal of time with Harry and Voldemort wants that intel. Now, why not just possess Umbridge and use her to access the Ministry? Simple. They turned her into a scapegoat. She doesn’t have a job anymore. So she’s useless apart from information, and by the time Voldemort is done with her, Umbridge is little more than a husk. I’d feel bad, but then again, it is Umbridge. Either way, Voldemort now knows all of Harry’s pressure points. Ron. Ginny. Sirius. Hagrid. 

Of course, the alternative solution here is for him to try and Possess Harry again, but for whatever reason, this is the one time in the books where Voldemort just can’t do that. Apparently he’s unable to Possess Harry without feeling excruciating pain because Harry can love. Which um. I’m pretty sure Voldemort’s Possessed other people who can also feel love (like Ginny for instance) but okay. I guess that’s out. Again, it’s #NotMyPlothole, but I’ll respect the canon. 

Actually, wait. There’s a precedent here that works. Voldemort can Possess Ginny. He’s done it before. That’s a way to get Harry to the Department of Mysteries. Even if he’s out of range to do it, he can always send Lucius onto the grounds to do a little Imperius work. So while Harry is undergoing O.W.L.s, Ginny gets possessed and later tries to convince Harry to go investigate the Black Door himself. However, Harry’s scar suddenly erupts with pain and Voldemort realizes his mistake. He warns Harry that he must come to the Department of Mysteries, alone, or he will never see Ginny again. By the time Harry can rise from the floor, by the time the pain stops, Ginny-mort is gone. 

Harry must now find a way to outwit all of the adults in the castle who’d have the means to stop him from rescuing Ginny. But he believes he has to do this alone, just as he felt the same about Umbridge. Voldemort is not one to make idle threats. Like a true Slytherin, he lies to get Kingsley off his tail, warning him that Sirius is acting shady and Harry thinks he might be Possessed. Course, Dumbledore still has The Marauder’s Map, but that shouldn’t be too significant an issue. Assuming he’s even watching, it will be too late by the time he realizes Harry is gone, unless he can guess where Harry’s going. 

No Thestral ride this time, and no Firebolt ride either. Harry likely wouldn’t know how to get to the Ministry by flight, and he doesn’t need to. He has the Slytherin Common Room’s fireplace - as the fires at Hogwarts aren’t being watched in this timeline. But first he needs to get everyone out. Fred and George will need to help him here, possibly with an earlier version of some of those fireworks. No way to be sure who all would be in The Common Room but as it’s studying time for the Fifth Years, at least one of Harry’s House-mates would likely be there, figure out that he’s up to something, and go warn Snape. Either to hinder Harry’s efforts or because they’re genuinely concerned for him.

Harry arrives at The Ministry, and at this point he’s likely expecting to finally be expelled for good this time, when this is all over. He ditched his Supervisor to skip school and all. But he doesn’t care. He has to save Ginny. He stumbles his way through the various rooms in the Department of Mysteries as before. No way to be certain that he’d check the same ones, but I don’t see any of them tripping him up, really. Except maybe the Death Chamber, but he could snap out of that for Ginny’s sake. Then again, this time, does he know what he’s looking for? Actually he could. The Door in his dreams did eventually open. Alternatively, he could use his Scar to navigate, and follow the increasing pain. Or maybe Voldemort just has Lucius stationed at the entrance to escort Harry at wand-point. Either way, he makes it to the Hall of Prophecy. Ginny is there, already bound, and so are The Death Eaters - including but not limited to Lucius, Bellatrix, and Crouch Junior. 

One point of note. I don’t think Ginny’s Possession is going to be fatal or even really harm her much at all, since it was so brief. Compared to Quirrell, Moody, and Crouch Senior who Voldemort Possessed for months on end. Another point of note, and this will be important later. I suspect Rita Skeeter’s next article would come out at around this time. Where, sure enough, she talks all about the fake memories that Harry and Snape discussed during their staged Legilimency lesson. So now Harry and associates know that Rita is spying on him. Now they’re sure. They’ve just got bigger problems to deal with first. We’ll be coming back to this. 

Back at the Ministry, Harry is kind of screwed. It’s rather like the movie where he’s got little choice but to retrieve the Prophecy and hand it over, despite Ginny telling him “don’t you dare-” etc. So what’s going to save him? Actually, I think Crouch and Bellatrix get into a spat over who will accept the Prophecy from Harry and bring it back to Voldemort. That’s something to think about - they both consider themselves Voldemort’s favorite, and in this timeline, they’re both here. They’ve both endured hardships and likely think that makes them superior to each other. They’re going to be competing nonstop, much to the chagrin of the other Death Eaters. Course, neither of them will let Lucius be the one to take the Prophecy. He’s not important enough. Harry waits for an opening, but this time he doesn’t have a crew of six to back him up, at least not yet. 

Back at the castle, Kingsley and Sirius are arguing as Sirius tries to figure out what’s going on. Snape, meanwhile, has been informed of the commotion in the Slytherin Common Room and now Harry has turned up missing. Again. Kingsley realizes he’s been had. The staff all meet to figure out what’s going on, as Dumbledore pours over the Map. This is when Sirius realizes he has it, and he’s not exactly happy about that. However, they eventually realize that Ginny is missing too. Secret unauthorized Hogsmeade date perhaps? Well, they check in with Rosmerta and Aberforth, but Dumbledore already knew that idea was too good to be true. 

Snape is the one to figure it out, having seen inside Harry’s mind and seen his dreams. He realizes Harry has gone to investigate the Department of Mysteries and curses the boy for his stupidity, leading to a fight with Sirius, before McGonagall and Dumbledore have to calm everyone down. Kingsley leaves to find Harry before other Ministry officials do, but Sirius insists on coming along. Dumbledore, following his instincts, requests that they bring more members of The Order. 

In the Hall of Prophecy, Harry has figured out what to do. With his best baseball arm, he flings the Prophecy into the darkness, and as the Death Eaters chase after it, he frees Ginny from her binds and the two of them make a break for it. It’s safe to say the Prophecy breaks when Harry throws it, though. I guess that thread of fate just cannot be severed. What follows is a game of cat and mouse where the Death Eaters chase Harry and Ginny through the various rooms. This would be around the point where The Order shows up. Some of them, anyway. 

We’ve got Sirius and Kingsley, and presumably Remus as well as maybe Tonks. (oh yeah, she’s still in the series, Harry just hasn’t met her before) but that’s about it. Moody’s dead. Dumbledore and Snape are still at Hogwarts. Keep in mind, they aren’t going to realize this is a Death Eater trap until it’s too late. The Order thinks they’re just picking up Harry from another day of his causing trouble. The numbers are not in their favor and they’re about to walk into an ambush, basically. 

What’s also curious is that one of the Death Eaters here is Theodore’s father. Along with Lucius, and Crabbe and Goyle’s dads too. That’s a series of gut punches for Harry. He didn’t actually know until now that Lucius was a Death Eater (though he likely suspected it) as the Graveyard scene never happened this time. Then there’s Dolohov, who cast some horrid curse with violet fire that nearly killed Hermione. But it failed because she had already Silencio’d him. Easy enough to just translate that onto Ginny but it feels almost too easy. Whatever, it’s a minor detail. We all know what happens next. 

Sorry, but it just has to happen. I can see no reason why it wouldn’t still go down the same way, and given how Sirius took up the Defense Against The Dark Arts position…yeah, something was going to have to remove him from this equation anyway. 

So, yeah. Bellatrix gets into a duel with Sirius and ultimately kills him, knocking him through the Veil. Remus has to stop Harry from jumping in after him, and has to break down that Sirius is gone. Poor Remus, man, he just cannot catch a break, can he? Either way, the duel continues and as before, Harry breaks free from Remus’ hold and pursues Bellatrix into the room with all the statues. Now for the million galleon question. Does Harry kill her? Or try, anyway? He…might. He wanted to kill her in the original timeline, and in this one he’s a hell of a lot closer to Sirius, what with seeing him every day and living with him since the end of POA. Not to mention the guilt he always felt about Crucio-ing Sirius before he knew the truth. So I dunno if I see him actually using Crucio again, not after that incident. But he could at least attempt Avada Kedavra. Perhaps he misses? The statues aren’t exactly going to protect Bellatrix though, and she certainly wouldn’t see it coming. 

It feels like Harry is just going darker and darker and I don’t think that would happen just because he’s in Slytherin, but I do think that given who Harry is, and the destiny the world forces on him, getting sorted into Slytherin has created a massive contradiction in his own heart and in the eyes of everyone who sees him, and he doesn’t know how to deal with that. He’s in Voldemort’s House, and all of his loved ones are in that House’s rival, as were his parents. How is he supposed to handle that? 

I think I know what happens. I think Harry does kill Bellatrix. Because like I said, she’s not going to see it coming. She didn’t see Crucio coming in the original timeline and while Harry might not “mean” it with true malice, I think that only really applies to the Cruciatus Curse. There’s no spectrum like that for killing someone with Avada Kedavra. They either die or they don’t, and no one apart from Harry has ever survived that curse. Again, I don’t see him using Crucio on someone after the Shrieking Shack incident, and with how much closer he is to Sirius…yep, Bellatrix is dead as a doornail. 

Voldemort arrives, and Harry initially doesn’t even know who he is. He’s never seen him before. But his scar is exploding with pain and there’s this strange man, eerie and haunted-looking, yet with the ghost of features that were likely once handsome and perhaps still are from certain lights. I’m picturing first-war era Voldemort, know what I’m saying? Voldemort is consumed with rage upon seeing that Harry has slain one of his most devoted followers, and he attacks, attempting to kill Harry. The statutes…probably? Still protect him? I’m not sure why they wouldn’t. 

More importantly, this is the first time Harry has dueled Voldemort. Yew versus Holly, and we all know what that means. The Death Eaters and the Order members plus Ginny likely all stumble on the effects of Priori Incantatem. I’m assuming Harry still “wins” this duel by sending the gold beads back into Voldemort’s wand and conjuring images of his parents. Like I don’t see why any of that would change. Remus is choked up to see them, especially since Sirius just died (and I bet both he and Harry were hoping to see him too and wondering why they didn’t.) But the echoes help Harry retreat, grab Ginny and Remus, and tell him to get them out of here. He disapparates them back to Grimmauld Place. 

Interesting point of note. Had Harry lost the Priori Incantatem battle of wills, an echo of Bellatrix would have appeared and likely assisted Voldemort instead. And hey, that could still happen, and it would be extremely interesting, especially if she reveals to everyone who killed her. But, Harry won the bout in the original timeline. And I don’t see a reason why he wouldn’t this time. Either way, I think it’s safe to say Remus splinches the ever loving crap out of himself because imagine trying to apparate in a warzone after watching your oldest friend die, and seeing ghosts of two of your other close friends? Yeah, Remus is not gonna be able to concentrate in those conditions, and he’s gonna be laid up for a while as Healers fix him up. 

Voldemort has work to do. He gathers his followers and they disapparate, bringing Bellatrix’s body with them. They want to leave no evidence of their return, and this time, the heroes did not win. They only escaped, and they didn’t have Dumbledore or anything. So this battle being what definitely proves Voldemort’s return is…kind of not really going to stick this time. Sirius is dead as well, but there’s no body, and no way to prove Bellatrix killed him in the first place. There is evidence that someone broke into the Department of Mysteries and destroyed Ministry property, but that’s it. Voldemort also does not tell The Death Eaters how Bellatrix died. He wants them to think of Harry’s survival at Godric’s Hollow as a fluke. 

The question of casualties is a tricky one, because it would be so easy to just say that certain characters died in this battle, but the truth is I just can’t be sure. The Order didn’t know they were heading into a fight, and Harry also didn’t have The D.A. with him. How can I know for sure that other people would die or choose who that might be? On the other hand, is it unrealistic to say that Sirius and Bellatrix are the only casualties? Or is that enough? Tonks was injured in the battle, should I just say she was killed off instead? Or is that not fair? Hm, as a compromise, I just won’t feature her much at all going forward, and I’m totally not just doing that because I dislike Remadora. Nah, let’s just say Tonks was also killed in the battle. That she was struck by that curse that hit Hermione in the original timeline. It’s harsh, but it's also realistic. Man, The Black family really took a hit, huh? 

Harry likely doesn’t even return to school at this point, since exams were already pretty much over anyway. But he is brought in, possibly to Dumbledore’s office, to be questioned by Kingsley about what happened before they got there. Kingsley is gentle as obviously, Harry is still in mourning. Harry falters and Dumbledore fills in the blanks with a story about how Voldemort killed Bellatrix for failing to procure the Prophecy and for taking out Sirius, who could have otherwise been valuable leverage against Harry. This is also the story Voldemort would tell his Death Eaters. Harry gratefully goes along with this story, and while Kingsley isn’t really buying it, he accepts it and leaves. Snape is also in the corner and he attempts to use Legilimency on Harry, but Harry has been trained better this time and he brings up the Occlumency barriers. Snape is both frustrated and ever so slightly proud, but that’s a small part of his soul that he will never acknowledge. 

Dumbledore dismisses everyone else to talk to Harry alone, and this talk includes many subjects. It covers everything from the original chat they had in the OOTP book. Though Dumbledore also makes it clear that he knows what Harry did and such behavior is unacceptable. That he is letting it pass because he has to, because there are more important matters to deal with. But, if Harry carries on like he is now, he could wind up in Azkaban or worse. He could turn out to be just as bad as Voldemort. As of this point, the Ministry agrees to lift the whole “Supervisor” requirement, but I think this may also be where Harry begins to question if Aurorship is really for him. I mean, he hasn’t exactly made friends with The Ministry. 

Let’s talk about Ginny for a second. She was taken into The Department of Mysteries and could have died in a dangerous battle, all because of Harry. Now, it wasn’t really his fault, and he also did everything in his power to save her, but the point stands nonetheless. I’m not sure how Arthur and Molly feel about Harry at this point, my guess is that their feelings are not positive, but even if they do like him…I think this is going to be their breaking point. Though Harry did save Arthur’s life and he can point that out. Actually, maybe they do like Harry, but are just very concerned for their children. They’d try to forbid Ron and Ginny from associating with him for their own safety. Well, Molly would. It’s not actually gonna happen, though. Seriously, have they met Ginny? She and Ron will be at Hogwarts and basically outside of Molly’s jurisdiction. She could ask the teachers to keep Harry away from her kids if she really wanted to, but dealing with Harry Potter is already such a headache for most of them, and they can see that he doesn’t really mean any harm, so I don’t think they’d really take to that assignment. 

For her part, I think Ginny is freshly traumatized from having been Possessed again, and she and Harry can talk about that. Might cause distance between them or it might bring them even closer, who knows. I guess we’ll have to see in subsequent installments. 

That about sums everything up. There are loose ends, like Harry’s potentially growing relationships with Snape and Draco, but those will also have to be tackled in future installments. Same goes for Rita Skeeter. Oh! Here’s an interesting thought. Lucius did not get arrested this time, and altogether the fiasco was not his fault. It was Crouch and Bellatrix who got distracted, and with Bellatrix dead, there’s only one person for Voldemort to blame. He’s not going to kill Crouch but this may have consequences in the future. One of which being that Draco probably doesn’t get inducted into The Death Eaters. That was only done to punish Lucius…oh, this is going to be fun. 

Things are darkening more and more, though I s'pose OOTP was always a gloomy installment in the first place. Let's see how things play out in Year 6!

[puppetshowdown]

Any favourite info-dumps? <:O/genq

I love all of them! But here I'll share a few that really stood out to me! -The Julia one I mentioned before!: "I just….. I am love her. I was SO happy when she was introduced. Her first episode is my comfort media. Autistic representation where it isn’t framed as a bad thing is SO rare in children’s media, and “she does things a little bit differently, in a Julia sort of way” made me CRY. She is so much like me and she makes me so happy. The happy flaps when I saw her on the Sesame Street float at the Macy’s parade nearly hurt my wrist I was so happy. She is the best girl and deserves the best. Her puppet was designed to have a set of arms specifically so that she can stim, and she has a comfort toy like I do and doesn’t like the way paint feels like I don’t and loves to sing like I do and gets overwhelmed by sirens like I do and I just love her SO MUCH. (I didn’t link a picture because there are so many good ones! I like the one where she is looking at a feather, and also the one from the cover of the picture book she initially appeared in <3)" -Audrey II: "want to preface: either the stage version or the '86 movie version works, as both are portrayed by puppets! although neither is canonically a puppet in the story. i couldn't tell from the rules if this was disqualifying or not. BUT if i could get a word in for the movie Audrey II: WHAT A GORGEOUS PUPPET… or should i say SERIES of PUPPET/ANIMATRONIC HYBRIDS! there's somewhere in the ballpark of a dozen Twoies in the film to represent the different growth stages of the plant. they're all beautifully painted with vibrant detail, perfectly matching the high camp tone & setting! the mechanics of the puppet are also intricate and innovative; especially the MOUTH those lip syncs are so accurate and expressive! the largest puppets were actually so heavy that in order to remain accurate to the audio, they had to be operated along to the tracks and filmed at half speed, then sped up in editing… which means that when the actors appear with the plant in those scenes, they're ALSO performing at half speed! the stage play versions are (by necessity) less technical than these puppets, which were fabricated by the Jim Henson company btw, but lots are still really cool; a unique standout is the one from the Pasadena Playhouse production! whew. all this and i didnt even talk about the character… Audrey II is an alien plant that was beamed down to Earth and wants to take over the world. it sings some catchy songs about that. they can fit so much queercoding and slay into this plant. it's a girlboss it's a drag queen it manipulated a young man into committing several murders. we stan." -Spamton: "Hee heehee I am so obsessed with this silly puppet guy. I love how he went from an absolute snazzy lil salesman dude with his red tux, and just gradually turned into a complete disaster of himself. I like how little detail is actually shared about his past, so you're left to wonder if he was actually brought down by circumstances out of his control, or if he brought his failures upon himself and just doesn't want to accept that. I want to give him a hug and he would no doubt try to bargain for my soul in the process"

-Riley Ruckus: "SHES SO GENDER OH MY GOD SHES THIS COOL EVIL SCIENTIST WHO WAS MADE TO BE LIKE. A KIND BUT SLIGHTLY AGGRESSIVE SCIENCE TEACHER FOR A KIDS SHOW, BUT AFTER COMING TO LIFE HAD THAT TWISTED INTO MAD SCIENCE, AND SHE CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HER DOGGO AND SHES SO PRECIOUS AND WOULD ALSO RIP U APART AND IS SO VERY GENDER"

And honestly so many others! I love all the infodumps! From the long passionate paragraphs to the more silly jokey ones They're all so much fun to read!

[tsuki-sennin]

It's bigger! It's badder! Ladies and gentlemen, it's too much for Ukiyo Ace!

Welcome back to the Jyamato Grand Prix!

Joining us today is Buffa, God of All Jyamato! And boy is he mad~! Kamen Riders beware. This bull's gonna ran through the China shop that is your lives~!

...in theory, at least :3

Spoilers, I guess...

-Where is the Fox Man?

-Sara-neesan...

-She truly remembers nothing about what happened to her brother.

-Oh fuck, Kyuun!

-Oh fuck, John and Ben! Hell yeah!

-"Everything's different again... even you, Neon."

-Holy shit

-Kurama really went there, didn't he?

-That fucker.

-Beroba offers you more battle.

-"The answer's obvious. I'm gonna win again."

-"And?" Holy shit, dude.

-Chirami's still got reality TV brain.

-Speaking of which, I hear another Hollywood writer's strike is on the horizon, so... I hope you 2000s kids are ready for an all new CN Real block.

Chirami: "No no no, you don't get it! It'd be fantastic for ratings~!"

Tsumuri: "...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"

Chirami: "Now, I realize that nobody's got a chance in hell against Buffa, but that'll just add to his allure as an unbeatable God! People will wanna lay him out~! And that means people will be tuned in from all across space and time for when he inevitably bites the dust~!"

Tsumuri: "Two thousand years worth of contestants, quite literally innumerable innocent people, and my little brother fucking died because of you people."

Chirami: "Business expenses~!"

-Letting the mask slip right off, huh?

-I miss you, Giroli.

-Don't you diss my girl like that, you weasel.

-Yeah that's what happens when you try to play god, Admin Man.

-Ah, yep. Arranged date.

-Gonna be real Neon, I don't think this is going well.

-Oh shit, the boys!

-There's something so funny about Ben just saying "Ojou-sama" among the rest of his dialogue.

-I appreciate these subs also applying to English dialogue, that's very considerate.

-"Nooooo... I'm sorry :c"

-White Tiger, Black Panther. Welcome back to the Desire Grand Prix.

-Er... well, I suppose that's just a name now.

-"Whoooooo...?"

-My heart breaks for Miss Navigator.

-OH FUCK BEN

-Buffa, you leave that beautiful man alone.

-"Go home, little kitty."

-Yeah, I kinda gave up my "name" basis with Buffa, in case you haven't noticed.

-Nooooo, John D:

-omfg Michael that was so slick

-Tom too, that was amazing

-Here they are! The Riders!

-Double Beat!

-...don't quite get to see it, huh?

-Beroba Jumpscare.

-"Oh! You forgot this, honey~!"

-Neon's misery swells once more.

-"I can't wait to watch you cry in 4K, Na-Go~!"

-Takahashi, you are just beating on the poor girl, huh?

-Kyuun appears!

-"Forget about your lives as Riders. That's the only mercy I can offer you."

-Neon's resolve has never gone away.

-"You can be whoever you want... in the future!"

-Neon, 3,033 AD.

-Oh fuck, a Ninja!

-Ninja Doggo!

-Buffa killed Eitoku!

-Er, excuse me... Retired.

-Victory Royale.

-"...we're completely foxless... piece of shit would be our only chance."

-"Ukiyo Ace-sama..." :(

"Pwease pwease pwease!"

Ziin: L + Ratio, you fell off, cringe, fail. ...that's the ancient slang from this era, right?

Kekera: No no, sonny. You don't get it. He's an old man, we never get slang. Let me try something he'll definitely understand. Buzz off.

-Oh

-Okay, thanks Ziin.

-He's based now.

-"Yo, Game Master."

-Hello, Buffa. ...I can't believe I'm saying this, but you have my permission to do what you want to the Game Master. I'm sick of these people's bullshit too.

-No shade towards Yamazaki-san, of course <3

-"The only Riders left."

-"No fighting :<"

-"YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, WOMAN! It's my time."

-Yoshitsugu Matsuoka and Yoshitsugu Matsuoka, together at last.

-Faito!

-Fever Zombie!

-Tsumuri's just so done with all this crap.

-Buffa's in the middle of his Turbo Mecha Sonic arc.

-Speaking of which, I hope I get to see the SMBZ reboot's third episode sometime soon, I've been waiting years to see Metallix return.

-Not even a dent has been made in Buffa's armor from all that fantastic technology.

-"This is the Jyamato God's world."

-I'll be real, I'd have given Tsumuri like ten super forms by now. I can't guarantee it'd be a good watch at that point, but hey I'd be happy.

-Boom! Laser Victory!

-An unkillable zombie! Don't that feel familiar?

Chirami: No! No, wait, please, I... We can make a deal! If you spare my life, I'll give you a planet! Three planets! Two and a half?

Buffa: You just went down.

Chirami: I'm a haggler...?

-As needlessly cruel as Buffa, he's at least got one point from me for one reason.

-Recognizing he benefitted from that corrupt system and realizing that it only worked out for him because it worked out so terribly for everyone else.

-There's your little bro, Tsumuri.

-And Glare2 is out of the battle!

-Oh shit, there he is! Fox Jesus~!

-"No, no no, no no no NO! How dare you?!"

-He's back!

-"I'm a ghost. ...or to be accurate, a kitsune."

-Boost! And... Magnum!

-Ready... Fight!

-"You don't mean shit to me anymore."

-"Yeah? Well, me neither."

-Desire Royale.

-Tsumuri has awoken.

-Oh fuck, that's a new rider! ...OH FUCK SARA-NEESAN

-Is that a badger? Er, wait no, she'd be an otter like Tycoon...

-Hang on, lemme look something up...

-John and Ben's Rider forms are called "Garun" and "Lancer", respectively. I feel cucked not seeing them as Riders. ...maybe they didn't wanna dig through the prop closet for them.

-Beagle Eitoku, or... rather, Nagayama was called "Groovy". ...that's cute, I'll admit. ...I forget, do the participants name their Rider forms themselves?

-Pretty okay episode overall though, I give it a 7.2/10 for Rider Revival Episode Standards. ...that's still a C- by American School Standards, but it's a solid C-. (meaning, I liked all the stuff with Buffa and Neon and Tsumuri makes me sadge but in like a good way.)

[springbridedragon]

It's a weird time.

I should start with my step-dad died, and we found that out November 11, but he'd been sitting in his truck for 4 days. And in a strange manner, I have been grieving, but trying to figure out why exactly. Well, he had been my source of terror for a good chunk of my life. Age 8-18. Not every day, of course. Up until my first sibling, he was nice, taught me things, and we had fun- like skating or fishing. My own dad was MIA mostly. I won't do an itemized list but, after J was born and they all kinda fell apart, I took on a caregiver role but simultaneously had a target on my back. I couldn't do anything right, he would watch for my mistakes. To this day I feel safest in the dark, afraid my facial expression would trigger a reaction. One of the worst things though; was the love bombing. He would give a hint of approval and I would do anything to get it. Even stand for hours and let him tell me how I was wrong in every manner. The only good times we seemed to have was when he cleared up from the oxy and we talked about history, aliens, horror movies.

After S was born and I was a teenager, and he had a 2nd back surgery where his addiction got worse, the sexual/miscellaneous abuse increased and I was no longer interested in preserving our relationship and I stopped calling him dad. After a few years and I was with my now husband I felt brave enough to try again. We had one or two good episodes before he got hooked on something else and my siblings pulled away from him. And then it was maybe 2 years ago we interacted for the last time and I was working through my trauma and no longer wanted so see him- it enraged me that my mom stayed married and continued to help him. That's another post.

Fast forward to November 11, the sheriff came to tell us. And a couple days ago I went with J to say goodbye. I cried pretty hard. But by then I understood why. I would never get a confrontation, or apology (not that I really expected one) or just acknowledgement. All I would ever have is this trauma I'm working on releasing. And the what could have beens, or the parent he could have been. And I just feel so sad for how he had to go. Alone in his truck, no contact with anyone. Like man, it never had to be like this.

Anyway aside from that, there's drama between my siblings and my moms health is suffering. Feels like my family is very distant. Like icebergs far apart in the sea. S is determined to split away from J over some issue with S husband talking shit. I am not fond of him either and mad at S because this is absolutely the worst time. And my best friend lives 5 minutes from me but barely contacts me- i reached out needing connection and she was dismissive. We are supposed to have friends giving on Thursday but i am not sure i can let my guard down with them anymore. Also I've gone clean from Facebook, finally not missing it. Reading up on digital minimalism and focusing on learning and separation from my phone app by app.

I know, it's a lot. I wondered if now is really the right time to cut off all my socials and friends on it as my birthday is in a couple weeks. But I'm plunging into the isolation anyway. Planning a snowy cabin trip with just me and hubs and doggo. I just want to continue moving forward for the betterment of my life. For health and making a little family and a lot of little adventures.

Hope my passport gets here soon.

[ballorawan740]

SCP Scenarios: When they accidentally kill you

Requested by: okokok121 + @RitaRoseFromBBB

Main Masterlist | SCP Scenarios Masterlist | My Works Masterlist | Rules | Request | Socials | My Original Post

(Ok, I know you did ask for the doctors + Mikell and Strelnikov, but I've decided to add the SCPs in here if that's alright with you. And also, sorry if I didn't capture Strelnikov's attitude well as I'm not as familiar with him compared to Mikell, yet again I'm not familiar with Jack Bright's family other than TJ and 321)

Sorry if it wasn't up to your standards. I just felt that some of these characters weren't the type to kill the reader, even if it wasn't intentional.

WARNING: Slight Angst

Dr Simon Glass

Simon wouldn't be the one to accidentally kill you himself, but it's more of the situation he put you in without realising the full extent of the consequences. He was just busy writing his patients' reports, and you just strolled in his office to check upon him. Simon stopped what he was doing and smiled with you as you both ate your food in his ever so clean office. As you were about to leave, Glass requested you to deliver something to Jack Bright in which you did. You and Jack were close friends (not so surprising since you're both equally as mad as each other) so if Simon wanted to know where he is or if he needed to give him something, he would go to you first. You managed to deliver the parcel to Bright in 682's containment cell and you both laughed before you returned. Unfortunately, 682 was having a rough day due to being a subject to Bright's test (I would be too tbh) which caused him to become more aggressive than usual and attacked 3 researchers. One of them being you as 682 dragged you down to the acid bath with him and Jack rushed to save you. Bright wasn't able to and he had to fulfil;l his duty to tell Simon Glass that you passed as 682 had killed you during a test. Needless to say, Glass was forced to take time off with Bright due to this event and he became more distant for months to come. Bright had to keep it together just so Simon wouldn't have to lose the shred of sanity he had in him.

Dr Jack Bright

You and Bright were doing some tests on one of the more dangerous SCPs (no, it's not that giant mf lizard of that warrior killing machine) in which your job was to handle these creatures while Jack was doing all the lab stuff. The SCP you both were conducting your research on was ●●|●●●●●|●●|● (SCP 2521 - We're getting ripped tonight, RIP my friends) and you were doing all sorts of things which resulted in you summoning this creature out of the blue by accident. Bright had to drag you out away from the creature and you just stood there observing its behaviour until it noticed you. Jack Bright had to take you on the run yet again (cuz you do be stoopid and stubborn so all yall wanna do is stare at something that's gonna kill ya. JUST RUN BIATCH!!!) but the SCP managed to catch up with you both and snatched you before Bright could even get help. Jack was astonished and deeply depressed since the incident and was left increasingly agitated after every walking day and even Glass couldn't get him out of his shell. He would pretend that everything's fine, but deep down, everyone knows that he's not (that's a whole ass mood right there buddy). Bright was extremely guilty for making you research 2521 and tried to summon it again, but all other scientists stopped it.

Dr Alto Clef

Clef was just doing his job, managing all the Keter class SCPs with ease and without hesitation. You know this from first-hand experience on your very first day on the job 3 years ago and Clef took an interest in you so he took you under his wing. So on this mission, he's on, he wanted to take you with him so you went along (not like you'd say no to this madman anyways right?). It was a breach on one of the sites with a sh- ton of Keter class SCPs and your jobs were to exterminate/neutralise them and save all the other researchers in which your team did do well and were still alive. You on the other hand were killed in action by SCP 939 (NOW WHICH ONE OF YOU IDIOTS RELEASED MY PETS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?!). Clef wasn't able to save you on time, but he managed to kill 2 of those SCPs. When he got back, he hid in his office and was depressed for 23.3 weeks and when he managed to drag himself out, he was bawling his eyes out. He deeply regretted taking you on a mission with him and swore an oath that if he were to ever take another person under his wing (probs in like 50 years), he would do anything in his power to not take them on a life-threatening mission.

Dr Benjamin Kondraki

You were out with Kondraki, just laying on the grass like you normally do as you just watched Kondraki take photographs of various and random stuff. Not long later, you asked him if he could teach you how to become such an avid photographer like him, so he did. However, little did you and Kondraki know that his butterfly friends felt danger lurking around the area you were in and quickly transformed into a threatening SCP to defend you both. Lurking around the woods were uncontained 939s running loose on the ground in which the booterflies attacked it. One of the red lizards was ready to pounce onto Kondraki to which you ran and pushed him out of the way (BAD DOGGO ))),:<). Luckily he was unharmed, but you, on the other hand, was heavily injured so Kondraki rushed you back to the foundation's medic. You died there shortly after and Kondraki blamed himself for getting you hurt on a harmless visit to the woods for some photographs. Bright and Clef begged Glass to do some psychological evaluation on Kondraki despite him telling them that he needs some time alone before he could do such things.

O5 Council Mikell Bright

When you're with Mikell, he would be his true self, being honest and relaxed since you're his most trusted partner. Moreover, he would tell you everything about what the O5 Council has been doing and their top secrets and you would always keep your lips sealed. The other members are wary of this at first but soon warm up to you since you're one of the most trusted individuals. Being with the cowboy is quite entertaining and you'll be quite protected being with him, so most of the time, you get free reign over the foundation, however, you still had to obey the rules as you weren't exactly a member of the O5 council and that would also help you from making people think you're sus for being treated so differently. That day was one of the days where your freedom got the better of you as you were on a mission with Mikell and he was about to aim at the target until you pushed him out of the way from danger. He quickly gained his composure and tried to shoot the anomaly behind you which he missed and shot you instead. Mikell was in shock and tried to get the medics, but by the time they arrived, you've already passed. Jack had to check up on his brother regularly to see how he's doing and to make sure he doesn't fall off the edge, reminding him that you wouldn't want to see him this way.

Agent Dmitri Arkadeyevich Strelnikov

As an agent, Strelnikov's life and his closest friends and relatives would be on the line. He wouldn't know when, where or how he would die and is in constant fear of losing everyone around him, especially you. One time, he took you on a mission with him since you were trained under him and he felt that you were ready to go onto your first-ever mission (well too bad, it's your last mission since y'all just suck at your jobs and this poor man has to drag you up from hell and y'all just fall back in) and so you guys went and attempted to gain information and track down some SCPs. Dmitri had to save you a few times since you didn't heed his advice and looked behind your back and that one time he left you on your own, you were murdered by a ruthless group from one of the GOIs. This, of course, deeply saddened agent Strelnikov as he was washed away by the guilt he had from leaving you to stand by your own 2 feet. You were a bright and gentle person who always looked up to him, always eager to learn and never want to fail him. These traits are what drew you to him and he was hoping to have you on his team permanently, however, that dream was long gone (just like your non-existent brain cells trying to keep your life together so y'all don't do stupid things) as you were snatched away from him in an instant. He wrote the report once he went back to the foundation and locked himself up for so long the doctors had to get him out (like your guardians whenever you don't wake up in the mornings).

Extras:

SCP 073 (Cain)

You and Cain were strolling around site 17 until a containment breach happened. Cain had to drag you by your arm since you froze (like a deer in headlights XD) and didn't react to anything since you were afraid. Luckily you did manage to get your senses back together and ran with him. Not long later, a Keter class SCP came charging at you and in a panic, Cain pushed you aside without a glance which caused another SCP to kill you since you were blocking the way. He looked over to you to see that you were wounded, lifted you up, and found a medic. Cain blamed himself for not looking carefully and had he done that, you wouldn't be dying. By the time the medic and you both arrived, you were already at the brink of death and when 343 finally arrived, you were long gone. 343 had to calm 073 down from trying to seek revenge once again but he can't due to the overwhelming guilt he had on him. 343 managed to ease his mind a bit which caused him to blackout. The researchers had to put him under their watchlist to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid (like you when you're studying for your important exams).

SCP 076 (Abel)

It was a normal day for you and Abel to hang around until this one mf guard angered Abel to which caused a containment breach. He went on a rampage (you do be here like Hercules! Hercules! XD) in which you had to try and calm him down. By the time you went to the main part of the facility, you saw many of the D-classes and researchers beheaded (like the previous queens in- never mind). When you had found Abel attempting to slaughter a guy, you jumped in front of the victim and by the time Abel realised that you were there, his sword cut you open in half (KO! 10 points to Gryffindor). He was overwhelmed with guilt and anxiety about him killing you by accident and returned to his box as demanded by the MTF members. The scientists noticed a change in Abel's behaviour and never questioned it. Those who knew what had happened never mentioned it in fear of another breach and left him be.

SCP 999 (Tickle Monster)

It was an ideal Saturday night at the foundation. You and our adorable 999 was wandering around the facility minding your own business until some madman came charging into the foundation. The alarm for the breach went on and everyone was confused since there weren't any dangerous SCPs on the loose. As it turns out, it was an intruder from one of the other GOIs trying to kidnap some of the SCPs. You and 999 just so happened to be in the exact same spot as the intruder and was holding a weapon of some sort. Realising what's happening, 999 pushed you out of the way just as the intruder fired her weapon which missed you both. One of the agents caught up with both of you and tried to shoot the intruder but ended up shooting you just as you got up which killed you. 999 never greeted any visitors in his cell ever again for quite some time and the researchers attempted to bribe him but failed.

SCP 682 (Hard to Destroy Reptile)

You were requested to take part in a test with 682 and another Keter class SCP in a test room and your job was to make sure 682 weren't allowed to lash out at the researchers because of this test. However, this certain Keter class SCP has decided that it wants to attack you in which 682 shoved you aside to protect you. The researchers ran in to save you but the other SCP managed to pounce on you and suffocated you to the brink of death. 682 was about to take a chonki bite out of that SCP but instead, he bit you instead, killing you instantly. He regretted every decision he has ever made and never attacked the foundation staff for months.

SCP 049 (Plague Doctor)

This doctor was just minding his own business until some dumbass researchers rushed into his room like some fanboys trying to get their noona's signatures. 049 was entertained by this remark but was soon agitated as they disturbed his work and wouldn't leave him alone. So, 049 used his lethal touch on some of the researchers as the rest ran. Luckily, they ran into you, so you managed to calm down the angri bird doctor. Unfortunately, that didn't go as planned as he had mistaken you as one of the other fanboys and stabbed you right into your heart. As soon as he had realised what he's done, he rushed you into his cell and performed surgery on you. Mid-surgery, he soon realised that you were losing too much blood and died right then and there. He mourned for quite some time as the other researchers were severely punished as it had led to your death which could've been avoided.

SCP 035 (Possessive Mask)

Like the other SCPs mentioned in the list, there was a test that resulted in your death. 035 was instructed to change to another human as the black goo was secreted from the mask and so he obeyed as you were slouching by the corner of the test room. Except for this time, it is being worn by a taller and more muscular man who was a wanted man due to his former job as a mercenary. As the researchers watched intently, the mask soon felt slightly overpowered but was resolved quickly due to his evergrowing abilities and experience in possessing those who come near it or is wearing the mask. The mask spoke of the discomfort of being overpowered to which the researchers took note of this statement and watched. You were somewhat concerned to you went closer to your beloved partner to check up on him. However, upon coming closer to 035, he switched his usual persona to the man wearing it, becoming more aggressive and unable to control this body, killing the first person he sees, which was you. This stunned the researchers as the guards tried to pry him off you. When they managed to get him off, you were no longer breathing. In the next interview with 035, he displayed extreme guilt and sadness of his inability to possess the man well enough to control him fully and made a request for him to be left alone for a while.

SCP 096 (Shy Guy)

You both met up during the breach a few steps away from 096's cell. He was wandering around to find you while covering his elongated face. All the other researchers were outside trying their best to stay calm and deal with this massive breach until they just saw 096 walking about looking for someone. It instantly clicked in their mind and offered to look for you as long as he goes back to his cell afterwards to which he agreed. Upon finding you, another SCP was attempting to attack you but was soon neutralised by the other MTFs. 096 managed to push you away beforehand but his throw was so strong that you died on the impact when you fell to the ground (you really did get yeeted lmao). As 096 and the others ran towards you to make sure you were ok, you had stopped breathing and 096 screamed in sadness which flooded the whole field. As he was contained back to his cell, they noticed a small detail about 096 which was him wailing every now and again about your death.

SCP 105 (Iris)

You and Iris were just strolling down site 17 to meet with Cain and Dr James Dantensen. Once you've arrived at the agreed location within site 17, you guys were just catching up with old times and sharing your memories and stories about your everyday lives. However, this jolly moment only lasted for so long as someone had breached the containment to target you as you were close to a lot of the SCPs, especially the humanoid ones. As you, along with the others, ran to safety, the enemy caught up with you and threatened you for your knowledge of the SCPs. Iris finally caught up with you just in time to see the commotion and shoved you out of the way. Cain managed to shield you from another guy who attempted to shoot you in which Iris retaliates by throwing a knife back, but instead, injured you instead. She ran over and screamed as you slowly blacked out. Cain had to carry you over as Dantensen was calling the medics and you barely managed to survive. During your days in the hospital, the suspect managed to suffocate you which alarmed everyone. During the days that followed, Iris had been seeking out revenge as Cain tried to make her stay calm and think more rationally.

SCP 106 (Old Man)

It was another day spending some time in 106's pocket dimension as you relaxed with him. You both talked about your past experiences and the obstacles you both had overcome. Once you both were done relaxing (aka never you lazy catto so get up and do something useful for once cuz I don't wanna see yall get screamed at by your family and non-existent friends (jk jk i hope they're treating you well)), 106 took you back to his containment cell and just sat there as the researchers looked at you both blankly. 096 caused a containment breach which, of course, freed you both from 106's cell and you made a run for it (RUN FOREST RUN!). As you and 096 came into contact, 106 tried to put himself between the both of you, knowing what 096 was capable of. Unfortunately, this resulted in 106 being attacked and you died from looking at his face (wear a damn mask 096, you're in the middle of a pandemic). Saddened by the news, 106 seek revenge but was briefly neutralised and shipped to another facility so it wouldn't cause another breach due to his rage.

[arcadejohn127-9]

Hi! Could i request the brothers and undateables with a MC that has this massive guard dog who's really intimidating and aggressive towards whoever tried to lay a hand on MC but he has a huge soft spot for kids? Like, the MC is at rad and the dog is glaring at the demons but as soon as Luke enters the room he's running up to him wanting to be petted by the young angel and he's WAY more friendly with him (and his owner) than the others and he's protective of him as well as the MC. Bonus if the doggo dislikes Lucifer and Belphie with a burning passion lmao-

(my dogs LOVE children, they go crazy when they see one. they just wanna be pet😔👊🏻)

I respect that, pets can understand what's up about people. If my pet didn't trust someone on instinct then I wouldn't either

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your dog was massive! It was a guard dog you've had for most of your recent years. He was fluffy and bulky; perfect for softer moments and still able to appear threatening. He's been helping you feel safe and journey through the Devildom. Your dog HATED Everyone and it was fitting; whilst most of people in your social circle was kind to you and wanted your safety, they were powerful and many of them were demons.

Mammon has been chased around by your 'monster' dog. At one point you spotted him climbing up the walls to get away from the furious barks of your dog. Flying away when he got rushed after when he thought it was safe.

Levithan was too scared to go near you; he was already fearful of Cerberus and that was an actual monster dog! So he would mostly just talk to you through text or at a distance. Has even thrown food at you because he got scared by your dog snarling at him.

Asmo screamed whenever your dog tried to fight him. You felt bad whenever you saw our scared they got but your dog just wanted to keep you safe. Belphegor got mad at asmodeus for screaming but only ended up getting sat on because he tried to grab you. He ended up falling asleep but for awhile he was struggling to wiggle away from your dog's bottom.

Beezlebub was the closest one to sooth your dog, his hand did get bit but he's been able to groom your dog. He has handled Cerberus many times so your dog was but an easier challenge. But most of the brothers have learnt to not touch you if the dog can see or be more careful in their approach.

But simeon, Solomon and Lucifer were a one braincell trio. They believed they could do as they wish and be able to calm your dog. Solomon was just a smug idioit who thought he could get away with it meanwhile Simeon hoped being an angel would reassure your dog he was not a threat. You blame those dangerous shoulders of his.

Lucifer tried to be the alpha to your dog and ended up getting his foot chewed. He tried to shake your dog off his shoe but it only made him fall over. Your dog practically dragging him across the floor as it snarled at him.

Lucifer was absolutely humiliated. Diavolo and barbatos were smart enough not to intervene but all of the collectively got concerned when they remembered Luke. The child of all of them. Your dog was overly protective and could get aggressive if people got too confident.

Normally they'd never be around to see how soft your dog could be as he'd ignore Luke and focus on keeping you safe but you haven't seen the little angel in a few days. You could tell your dog was really missing him.

He doesn't understand why everyone is so wary of your dog. He can't help but grin whenever he sees you and your dog. Everyone watched in fear as Luke came skipping in, waving at you.

He grabbed your hand with excitement. Looking between you and your dog. Your dog ran towards Luke and Everyone in the room felt their blood go cold.

"Gummy! Hey boy! Have you been a good guard dog?! Have you?! Awww you're such a good boy!"

He's hugging your dog, squishing it's cheeks. You laughed as you glanced at the others, all staring in shock at how happy your dog was. It's fluffy tag wagging rapidly as Luke nuzzled against the dogs cheek.

"He missed you, Luke, did you miss him aswell?"

Luke nodded, unable to stop smiling as your dog licked his cheek.

"Simeon, you wouldn't mind me and Luke going out shopping, would you? I agreed to check out the-"

Luke puffed his cheeks and glared at you. Trying to appear threatening whilst your massive dog was snuggling him and giving him cheek kisses. Your heart never felt more soft but you took his glare, understanding his embarassment.

"'Merchandise' store by the food stand."

It was actually the plushie and kid toys store. Simeon clocked what you meant and nodded. "Of course, be careful you two, get me some 'merchandise' whilst you're there."

You took Luke's hand and Gummy followed, returning back to his serious mode. As soon as you left the hall your dog went protect node on a demon that accidentally bumped into you.

[zevlors-tail]

Izuku and Dogs HC’s

Inspired by this and this!

Izuku and Dogs

-Firstly, Izuku loves dogs. He loves all animals, but he loooovvesss dogs. Cute little puppy? He’s got the matching puppy dog eyes to go with it! Honestly, is there really a difference between him and a doggo? They both want your attention constantly and will give you The Look when they know they’ve done something they should feel guilty about.

-Broke a bone in a pointless fight, argued with Ground Zero, or ate the last pudding cup even though you asked him not to? He’s giving you that guilty “I’m sorry Y/N, I know I shouldn’t have done it but I also know I’m too cute for you to stay mad at” look. It’s the same one your dog gives you when they rip up the sofa or track mud into the house. Both of them will be the death of you someday, you’re sure of it.

-Izuku likes to go visit the animal shelter on a regular basis with you. It all started because they did a fundraiser campaign for his agency (not an uncommon thing) and the funds went to the local animal shelters in your city. So of course he went to visit one for the campaign, but it became a habit after that. He had so much fun playing with the animals, petting the cats, feeding bun buns, and helping train the dogs.

-He drags you along with him whenever he gets the chance, but he doesn’t really have to put in that much effort; you love animals too, so it’s like free stress relief to go and play with puppies and kittens.

-The two of you talk about adopting a dog every time you go, but it never really ends up happening, until... One day while you’re visiting the shelter, there’s a great dane puppy. You haven’t been there in a while, so it’s hard to tell how long it’s been there, but everyone who comes in is just glossing over the poor pup like he doesn’t exist. It breaks your heart, and you ask to see him bc well...how could you resist that cute little face?

-Izuku immediately falls in love with him. Even for a puppy, he’s pretty big already. But Izuku’s buffed up quite a bit since his days at UA, and to him the grate dane is just another lap dog. What some people would consider a giant, he considers a normal size. It’s nice for the dog, and it’s nice for him. The puppy seems like he’s having a lot of fun playing, throwing it’s weight around all it wants and Izuku just roughhousing with it right back. They’re rolling all over the ground and really, it’s so precious.

-You take the puppy home that day. You have enough space for him, you’re sure, and you’ll admit it’s been kind of lonely when Izuku leaves for work, so it’s the perfect time and place to add a furbaby to the family. You both have so much fun picking out dog supplies like food and a water bowl, and you get him a huge fluffy bed to sleep in. You come to find out later that he won’t ever use it, and that he just wants to sleep in bed with you and Izuku.

-You get him a cute collar and everything with his name on it: Scooby Doo. You’re probably the one who named him but Izuku loves it and approves. 

-At first it seems like the puppy is going to be attached to Izuku, but as he starts to grow, it becomes very obvious that he’s a definite sucker for you instead. Sure, maybe he cuddles the man when you’re not home, but the second you’re through the front door, it’s all about you. He wants to play, be fed by you, be loved and doted on.

-Izuku gets jealous, both of you and the dog. Why can’t he just have both? It’s kind of funny, the amount of times you’ve caught him pouting about how the dog left his lap after you got home, or how he whines that he never gets to spend any time cuddling in your lap anymore because the dog took his spot.

-”He’s smirking at me, Y/N!”

-”You’re being ridiculous, dear. Dogs don’t smirk.”

-”So? He took my spot!”

-”Awe, poor baby, come here! I’ll give you pets and love!”

-He’s sooooo annoyed, but in a playful way. “No, you come here! I wanted you first!” He just wants your attention so so bad!

-Giant cuddle piles in bed. The dog likes to sleep in between the two of you even if you try to get him to sleep at the foot of the bed. Between your giant of a partner and your gargantuan dog, you sometimes get pushed off the bed when they decide to cuddle in the middle of the night. It’s ironic; Izuku complains a lot that he never gets to cuddle the dog like you do, but every night Scooby Doo sneaks his way up between the two of you and curls up to him. They’re inseparable, really. 

-They steal your blanket as well, the two thieves! You’ll wake up shivering wanting to cuddle into Izu but nope. Scooby Doo already took your spot. But if Izuku feels extra clingy, he’ll turn his back to the dog and spoon you so that he can have both. He won’t neglect your needs. <3

[wecanlivelikejackxsallyifwewant]

So a week ago yesterday, we were back from Florida. I was given inspiration, from a friend, to recap what all we did (that I can remember) from our time in Florida so it can be solidified in history and I can look back on this post and reminisce! Here it goes!

August 10: All packed in the car, there was nothing else to do but go. My friend was staying with my dogs and it was so hard to say goodbye. Clayton hopped in the back seat, me in the front with my Halloween doggo blanket and my eye mask/head phone combo and Kevin driving. I specifically remember warning Clayton that he should switch sides bc at some point I’m going to want to recline my seat. I also specifically warned him that I snore really bad in the car 😬 idk what it is! Is it the angle of the chair, is it that I’m not laying flat? I truly don’t know. Anyway, that night was just driving, stopping for gas, smokin’ weed, and sleeping. Nothing to write home about.

August 11: We’ve arrived! Our condo is on the 3rd floor- all steps, no elevator 😑 it’s fine. We’re all sleep deprived, a little cranky and snippy w each other. It’s fine, we get over it once we see the view! Hermitage by The Bay!

… We start talking about all the stuff we want to do. We did none of it, but it was still a special time! We immediately unpack and unwind for a little bit. A couple naps. Then we linked up w the husband-to-be and hit the beach! Me, Kev and Matt went for a late night bite at Rockin’ Tacos. Bomb food!! Great street corn 🌽

August 12: We get pretty good nights rest! The beds were really comfortable- at least mine and Kevs was! We woke up leisurely and we hit this great Asian cuisine restaurant for lunch. So good. Rained for a bit, didn’t last long at all. Hit the beach again! Met a cute lil crab 🦀 his body was like the size of a silver dollar. Then we went to the strip cluuuuuuuub 💃 Nick fell in love w a beautiful, Colombian stripper. Clayton fell in love w a petite, blonde stripper. I met a stripper who was from MO! She hung out w me and the bride-to-be for the rest of the night fr, unless she was up of course. Two strippers told me my makeup looked amazing 💁‍♀️ We were given the most delicious shot from the bar tender: pineapple upside down shot. One word: DANGEROUS. Too good. Somewhere along the way “FF” was born 🙄 when I said it, it stood for “Fucking Fuck” others weren’t as kind *disappointment*

August 13: Woke up, went on a minor grocery store run then landed at Floyd’s Shrimp House. Cajun chicken pasta for me… you know the deal! We got a mountain of fried pickles. Then we did a night walk on the beach and some lounging around the condo. Had Whataburger for the first time!

August 14: Wedding Day! Dustin came over to avoid seeing his bride. We chilled. The wedding was great. I got a lot of good shots! There was definitely a storm a brewing!! We got off the beach just in time. The reception was great. Matt and his bridesmaid “hopped up” and Nick and his did a secret handshake. Cute. One person asked me if I got my makeup done w the bridal party, one person asked if I was a makeup artist and two people complimented my makeup! We danced forever. Don’t stop believing was the last song before it was over. Then we went to Vibe night club. The drama that ensued, pssssssht. Dumb. So, Matt saw these two girls, started talking to them, it was going fine. Then he starts yelling at them, the music did get louder but they kind of looked over at me w a weird look on their face. I talk to them one time and I’m a cockblock. Okay 🙄 we continue, they sat next to me so I talked to them a few times. Got them hooked up w a pineapple upside shot! They loved it. Matt tried to talk to them again but I said something while he was and he got mad again talking about me being a cockblock. I was TRYING to get them to talk to me more to trust me to enough to get them to at least dance w Nick and Matt but he didn’t give me a chance!! Matt dances w a crackhead and that was interesting. Anyway, it gets kind of boring honestly, doesn’t really start jumpin until this group of girls comes in and they’re all twerking on the dance floor, the only ones out there living they’re best lives! Then a bikini contest was happening but thankfully we all agreed to close out our tabs and leave so we were walking out the door when this happened. Bless. We get back to the condo, Kevin’s the first one to pass out. Nick and Matt are bad influences! *Shaaaaaaame* Then Matt passes out. Nick and I stay up talking for like an hour about tattoos and a bunch of other stuff. I’m pretty fucked up but not as much as him. So he inevitably ends up on the floor. I ask him if he wants help to bed, we get him on his feet and I’m like “okay, you ready to walk?” He says “yep!” Then instantly becomes dead weight. I drop this dude 🤣 I laugh at first but then make sure he’s okay and he didn’t hit his head or anything. He says he’s good so I get him a couple pillows and a blanket, he’s out. I’m the last one up!

August 15: We don’t start out great. Everyone’s in pain, Kev and I get into a fight- you know how people get when they’re all together for too long. You butt heads, it’s fine. We get past that and hit this amazing Hawaiian restaurant. Soo good. Then we meet up w the newlyweds and go to the pier. It was awesome! We saw dolphins 🐬 and sea turtles 🐢 and this pelican flew down right next to me! It was awesome. After that we go to the Crab Trap. Again, Cajun chicken pasta! Then we head to the condo to pack. ☹️ we had a good time and ate great food. I got some saltwater taffy from the crappy Irvin’s (there were two right across the street from each other) plus my souvenirs.

August 16: Nashville! On our way back we hit Nashville for some Jacks bbq. Made it home pretty late. The dogs went nuts! It was so good to see them 🐶🐶 Thank goodness we had the next day off!

August 17: Blaire is born!

August 18: I QUIT MY JOB!!

[rebelcap]

We are not just friends — Part 20

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she’s brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues both of them, my girl Sofia kinda messy.

Series masterlist

Sofía opened up her eyes because there was so much fucking sun on the bedroom, as soon she opened one eye she knew. She knew she fucked up when she realized it was Chris's bedroom and his fucking thing about sleeping without curtains. 

She turned around on the bed and indeed, he was there, sleeping as an oak. On his belly, one hand under the pillow and looking peaceful as he can be. 

She sighed and looked under the covet, not naked but she wasn't on her clothes, one of Chris's shirts and some basketball shorts, real sexy. 

"I need to get the fuck out." She whispered to herself and stood from the bed, as quietly as she could and tipped toe out of the room just to be received by Dodger, jumping and barking because he was happy to see her. 

"Oh God, I love you but shut up baby," She tried to sush the doggo by rubbing his face but Dodger wasn't having it. She cursed under her breath as she heard Chris moving on the bed and beeline to the living room to grab her things. She only wanted her phone to get the fuck out because she was remembering the shit she pulled last night on her fucking alcohol mania episode. 

"Morning," Chris said, walking up on her throwing the sofa pillow to the side as she was looking for her phone. 

"Have you seen my phone!?," She asked without even looking at him. Chris hummed and walked past her to the kitchen, where he left it charging before sleeping. It's started to ring on Chris's hands. 

"It's Ron, " He said, showing her the phone and Sofia grabbed the phone from his hands and started talking business right there, hangover as she could possibly be and her ex boyfriend watching her pacing in the living room with an amuse smile on his face. 

"Ron, hold on a second," She said on the phone and put it on mute. "Where's my shit?" Sofia asked Chris and he pointed at the other sofa and indeed her clothes were there. "Thanks," She muttered and went there and started talking with Ron again, ignoring Chris as much she could. "Yeah, okay. Look, we will figure it out, I'll be there as soon as I can." she said and hung up. 

"Everything okay?" He asked, looking how she was quickly getting dressed. 

"No," She muttered and took off the shirt and put on hers. "Look, whatever happened last night I was drunk," 

"I know, don't worry—

"It won't happen again," She said and sigh. "Thanks for not leaving me alone, I was pretty fucked up."

"Sof, it's okay…" He said and gave her a side smile. "Want breakfast?" 

"I can't, I have to go—work and stuff," She looked down and put on her shoes. "Thanks." 

Sofia took a step forward, wanting to say something or at least hug him but she decided against it. "I'm just—" She pointed at the door and started walking towards it. "Yes, bye thanks."

"Bye," Chris said, watching her go and rubbed his face, signing. "Jesus Christ."

-

Sofía was literally screaming while she was taking shower, memories flooding her mind of the things she did last night. 

After Chris told her that, all that she had left to do is either cry or get fucked up. She chooses the second and proceeds to drink all she can. 

"Okay, what happened?" Scott asked once Chris reunited with them by the grill, grabbing a cold beer. 

"Nothing, we just… Talk." He shrugged. "I don't know, men. It's so complicated between us. I don't wanna lose her by any means but," He shook his head. "We both stupid around each other."

Sofia was again by the little bar and Alex was there, still talking with Ryan. 

"Hey," She said with a smile, he did too. "sorry about that, you still got that drink?" 

"Yeah, yeah. Beer it's good?," He asked and she shook her head. 

"Let's try something stronger, shall we?," She said and pointed at the vodka, Alex chuckled and went for it. 

And they did, a lot of shots later they were still chatting and chasing down the vodka with some beer. She was drunk as she could be, all inhibitions were out of the window and Chris was staring at her like a hawk the whole time.

"Hey, you wanna get out of here?" She asked, giving him a look and Alex laughed. 

"God, yes," He said, biting his lip and looking her up and down. "But I gotta be straight with you," 

"Alright, shoot."

"I was told you're off limits so I can't mess with you," 

"Excuse me?" She said surprised at what he just said and instinctively looked at the crowd outside and saw Chris looking at them, beer in one hand as he smoked with the other. 

"Yeah, you're Chris Evans ex and he's here… Boston ita a pit stop for me and I want to be an actor, if you know what I mean—

"Oh my God," She rolled her eyes and let out an annoyed grunt.

"Believe me, I would absolutely love to rail that ass you got but he's an A lister, think of the connections he—

"Just shut the fuck out." She wave a hand at his direction and grabbed the vodka, taking a sip and bee line to Chris not fucking caring at all about making a scene. 

"Excuse me," She said walking between the little circle of friends around Chris and all of them went quiet, knowing that was about to go down. "You," She said pointing at Chris and he looked at her, giving his beer a chug. 

"Yes, Sof?" 

Sofia scoffed and had to take a swing at her vodka, straight out of the bottle. She literally don't give a fuck anymore.

"Don't yes Sof me. What the fuck are you doing?" she muttered and Chris frown.

"What are you talking—

"oh, don't you pull what you are talking about, bitch. You know, what the fuck I'm talking about." She said with an accusatory finger pressed to his chest. 

All the guys ohh at them and Sofia had to laugh because she went for it, she was mad but not that mad. 

"Baby," Chris said, smiling and grabbed her by the hand. "Come on." he led her again to the side of the house where it was somehow private. 

"Not your baby, you dumped me." She reminds him again as he leads the way to talk, again. 

"And I told you I'm an asshole, what are you talking about?",

"You're cockblocking me with your fame." She explained with a pout and Chris had to chuckle. "Why are you laughing? This is-is bad. Like—

"Why is it bad?" he asked, drinking his beer, still smiling. "I Don't want to see some other asshole kissing you."

Sofia had to blink four times, slowly as her drunk brain tried to process. Was that… Christopher… Jealous? 

"Oh, my Dios mio. You—Christopher. The audacity, oh-" She was throwing her hands on the air and ranting in Spanish at him. "Boy, imma throw hands at you right now. I swear to God almighty I want to slap the shit out of you." Sofia pointed her finger at him and let out a scream with both hands on her mouth. 

"At least I'm saying what the fuck I want."

"Well, I don't want to see you getting back with all your fucking exes right on my fucking face." She rubbed her face messing up her eyeliner because she was feeling anger, frustration and honestly a little aroused at him behind fucking toxic because she was used to that and bring her some twisted type of comfort and validation. 

"That includes you?" He asked and leaned on the wall right beside her and Sofia turned around so fast that she tripped on her own two feet. Chris pulled her into his body, right between his legs and held her there. He tossed his beer on the ground and put both hands on her hips. He's drunk, he has to be drunk. She thought for a moment as she just…let him… touch her. 

"God, fuck you." She said pressing her lips onto his mouth, he kissed her back with no hesitation. 

"You didn't answer my question." He said pulling back and Sofia rolled her eyes at him and tried to pull away but Chris grabbed her by her neck and pulled her in again, Sofia let out a subtle moan and curse. 

"Fuck," She breath out, closing her eyes as Chris pressed her lips against her jaw, nipping and kissing. 

"And?" 

"I'm answering you shit." Sofia whispered and grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him again. Chris grabbed her ass and pulled her up, Sofia wrapped her legs around his hips and Chris turned around and pressed her against the wall, she forgot everything for a moment and it felt exquisite. 

Kissing him, feeling him against her skin, his perfume, the softness of his hair between her fingers and the roughness of his hands on her body. 

"God, I love you," She muttered as he nipped her neck and Chris stopped right away to look at her, making Sofia open her eyes and find him looking at her, serious. "What?," She asked, leaning. "Kiss me." She murmured against his lips but Chris didn't respond. 

"You meant it?" He asked and Sofia stared at him. 

"What?" She asked avoiding his eyes and lean on again but he pushed her away. 

"Do you love me?" He asked and Sofia let out a sigh. 

"There's no point. We're never getting back together," She now pushed him away, untangled her legs around him and tried to walk away but her legs gave up as soon she hit the floor. 

[henderylikespink]

Fluff Alphabet

정윤호

Jeong Yunho

                         ♡ Yunho ♡

A- Affectionate

   Yunho is mildly affectionate. He is too shy to convey his cuddly side in public but out of the public eye is a different story. In private, Yunho is always cuddly. He loves to put his head on your tummy.

B- Baby (Do they want a family?)

   Yunho will have a small family. A spouse and one child are enough for him. But hey, if he has more babies- more the merrier! 

C- Cuddle

   Yunho lives for cuddles only when he is sleepy. When he is tired, he may fall asleep on top of you and you will be left with the struggle on trying to get his big, heavy body off of yours so you can breathe lol.

D- Dates

   Dates will be very casual and frequent when they can be. Yunho radiates boyfriend material all the time. He will ask you to go to the grocery store with him, with what you assume is to help his pick out good brands of food when he labels it a date. He will probably take you out for a big lunch as a thank you.

E- Everything (You are my…)

   You are Yunho’s baby! I can see Yunho babying his s/o a lot in his own weird way. You may not notice it a lot of the time until you pick up on his habits later in the relationship when you can read Yunho like the back of your hand.

F- Feelings (When did they realize they had feelings for you?)

   Yunho had met you at a park. Yunho would go there when he needed to relax. He loved to watch the dogs and other cute animals run playfully around the park. He always saw you with your doggo. The sparkling smile on your face was what first attracted him to you. He couldn’t look away. Yunho loved the way you looked at your pup, it held all the love the world could hold for the furry bundle of joy. He loved the way you would laugh when your dog would catch the frisbee mid-air, it was too adorable. Yunho knew he had feelings for you when he realized he came to the park to see you instead of coming for a  destressing session. 

   Yunho watched you from afar for some time, he was always too shy and awkward to initiate any type of conversation with you. That was until a familiar frisbee landed onto Yunho’s lap and he spent the rest of his afternoon with you and your wonderful pup.

G- Gentle (How gentle are they with you?)

   He is kind of gentle with you. Yunho acknowledges his huge size compared to the rest of the human race and will try not to stomp on you lol. His touches are full-on you, he doesn’t give feather touch too often.

H- Hand/ Hold (How do they hold you?)

   Yunho isn’t too much of a cuddle bug but once he gets very comfortable with his members or his s/o, he can have his moments. He would rather have his head resting on you or your head resting on him. He doesn’t want to be smothered unless he was feeling clingy (which is rare).

I- Impression (First Impression)

   Yunho thought you were so compassionate. Coming to the park on the daily for your lovely pup is a commitment! 

J- Joker (Do they pull pranks?)

   Yunho pulls pranks every now and then to mess with you lol, but he will stop if you get mad. 

K- Kisses (How do they kiss?)

   o o o Yunho kisses are something. Yunho’s lips are always full on yours. His kisses are typically on the softer side but don’t be surprised if they get a little hard. He always holds your chin when you kiss to pull your face lightly to his.

L- Love (Who said I love you first?)

   You said “I love you” first. Yunho would be too nervous! He would be afraid that he would ruin your relationship and that’s his greatest fear! So I wouldn’t count on him to say it first. You can definitely see the love that Yunho has for you in his eyes. Yunho is the type of man that has the type of eyes that convey his emotions.

M- Memory (Favorite Memory)

   Yunho’s favorite memory was when y’all went to the beach with your doggo! The bright sun hitting the shimmery water with the soft sand between Yunho’s toes isn’t an easy day to forget. You brought a frisbee for your dog so the date consisted of your dog getting a work out lol. The date did go a bit south when your dog ran off without you or Yunho’s knowledge. This is his favorite memory because this was the first time you showed complete trust for Yunho as you looked for your lost pup because you were looking at him for guidance on what to do!

   It was sad for Yunho, seeing you on the verge of tears instantly made him go into action. To be honest, he was really worried too! Don’t worry, your pup was found with a loving family that was petting and loving on them. The date ended with damp towels and tasty food as y’all watched the sunset together. The leftovers of your dinner might have been not-so-sneakily stolen by your precious puppy.

N- Nickel (Do they spoil you?)

   Yunho doesn’t spoil you all the time, but when he does see something he thinks you’ll like then he will get it for you.

O- Orange (What color reminds them of you?)

   Light blue reminds Yunho of you! It can be because of the color of the sea or because he thinks the color looks lovely on you.

P- Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

   Yunho usually calls you by your name or “Jagiya” or “Jagi,” he doesn’t usually use any other names but those.

Q- Quirky (What is their cute habit?)

   Yunho’s cute habit is his laugh! Yunho giggles all the time, out of nervousness and out of habit, every now you will make him nervous for no reason. He just forgets how amazing you are sometimes! In the relationship, laughs and giggles happen all the time. Yunho will be doing something unrelated from you and he will suddenly think of a hilarious moment between y’all and he can’t help but let out a small laugh!

R- Rainy Day (What do they do on a rainy day?)

   Yunho likes to game on rainy days. Gaming and eating take out while the water streams down your windows is so fun and peaceful to Yunho.

S- Sad (How do they cheer themselves/ others up?)

   When Yunho is upset he tries to hype himself up! He reminds himself that he is really good at what he does and he is successful at it. He also tries to make others laugh when they are upset. He tries to distract their minds from their sad thoughts so they can be happy.

T- Talking (How much do they talk? What do they love to talk about?)

   Yunho talks a lot with you! He probably carries the conversation the most. He loves to talk about anything that is happening in both of your lives or share something funny you saw on the internet.

U - Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

   Gaming always helps Yunho to relax. It gets his mind off the things he’s stressing about.

V - Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

   Yunho shows off his nice clothing and jewelry. He is truly proud of ATEEZ he would have never thought their group would have blown up so fast, it’s still very crazy to him.

W - Why (Reasons why they love you)

   He loves you because you are someone he can always share a laugh with but someone he knows that he can hold all of his worries in. Your stability in Yunho’s rollercoaster weeks and months really make Yunho feel saner as he is still adjusting to the Idol life.

X - Xylophone (What’s your song?)

   Your song is “Big Heart” by Paul Kim. It is very fitting for your relationship.

Y - You (What you are to them?)

   You are Yunho’s stability. You are the jewel that makes Yunho’s life grounded in the tornado of schedules Yunho is trying to complete.

Z - Zebra (What pet they want to have?)

   Yunho would possibly like to get a small dog just so your dog won’t be so lonely all the time.

Masterlist

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 163 prt 2

“Lance? You okay?”

Keith had a worried look on his face. Lance giving a small shake of his head as he forced a smile that didn’t feel quite so fake when he was staring at Keith

“Yeah. I got caught up thinking about Vee again. Sorry, I’m mostly okayish. Totally distracted but you know...”

Rieva asked

“Will you contact them?”

“I think I’ll send Veronica the photos. Not... for her sake alone, but for her daughters. Mami was proud of them and I don’t want them to forget her. Besides, Keith helped me remember the really important thing. I do have a family. Hell, we’ve got a whole pack to support us. I’ll have to ask Coran if he can pull the data off my phone even when it’s smashed”

“Do you want me to take a look? As long as it’s not too broken I might be able to salvage something”

Lance didn’t want to tell Matt no. Sometimes I was easy to forget he was an absolute technical wizard. Unless Pidge was there and the pair of them were off speaking what may as well be another language. Only, the phone was designed by Coran, or for Coran, with Blade technology. He didn’t want to accidentally get Matt into trouble

“It’s cool if you don’t, just thought I would offer”

His expression must have showed. He’d managed to hurt Matt’s feelings without meaning to

“I was thinking how it’s Blade tech. I don’t want you to get into trouble by helping me”

“The Blades totally owe us for Rieva rallying the pack to bring down Zarkon and Honerva”

Lance shook his head. The Blades were a bunch of weirdos with their own rules

“That’s beside the point. You’re family, I don’t want them thinking we’re scheming something. I’m enjoying not having death hanging over my head”

Matt nodded, thankfully understanding that it really wasn’t personal

“Us too. Seeing you’re not going to feed us, I’m going to become one with the sofa. What about you, babe?”

“I want to finish my book tonight. Will you two join us in the living room?”

That’d be nice and all, but Lance wanted sleep and cuddles with Keith when they’d finished their dinner and the dishes were done

“No offence guys, but I think I’m going to take Keith up to bed when we’re done. Today’s totally drained me”

“That’s okay. I’m glad you recognise us as family. We’ll always be a pack, don’t forget that”

Lance smiled warmly at Rieva. She probably hadn’t noticed but her English was so much better now, plus she didn’t seem to struggle to find the right word for what she wanted to as much as before. He was grateful to have her around

“I won’t. It really means a lot to have you guys here. I don’t think I would have handled today quite so well if you two hadn’t behaved”

“Yeah, if you call Rieva scaring Rachel behaving. I nearly turned back laughing when Rachel put two and two together”

“And I nearly slapped her for the way she spoke to Lance. I do not see how you and Miriam can be so lovely when she...”

Lance didn’t want to hear the rest of what Rieva thought. Rachel was still his sister and she’d been through so much

“Guys. I know you want to support me, but they’re still... I don’t want to talk about them like that. Rachel went through the worst of it. She was still at home when I was going through puberty. Ego’s during puberty aren’t fun at all”

Rieva nodded. Yeah. She got it. It wasn’t enough to be a mess of hormones, but a mess of hormones with an ego... it fucking sucked

“I remember that too well. Call us if you need us”

“I will. Thanks, guys”

Left alone again, Lance moved his chair closer to Keith, waiting until the TV was turned on before humming softly. This was nice. Being with Keith was nice

“Yes?”

“Just thinking I love you”

“I love you, too. I’m sorry if I upset you being mad at your sisters”

“I get it. You know what I’ve been through and want me to be happy. I never thought they’d show up with the cops... and I’m not that okay with talking about them in a mean way”

“You don’t have to explain. I don’t get it. I mean, I do but mostly I don’t because Shiro’s the closest thing to a real brother I’ve ever had, but we didn’t grow up together”

“I think you’ve grown up plenty. But it is different. I remembered today why I got into family law, after seeing my own family falling apart at the seams. Part of it was penance, trying to make up for existing, and part of it was that I didn’t want kids to suffer going through parents splitting and violence. Even now I can still remember some of the fights Mami and Papi got into. Papi tried to understand in his own way but it was hard on him and Mami. The idea of never hearing about them hurts, but I have you, and I have everyone else and I need to keep reminding myself that I don’t have to keep apologising”

Keith moved to kiss his cheek, his smile loving as his eyes seemed to sparkle with happiness

“Even if I nearly make you wet yourself?”

“Dude, I don’t think you understand what it’s like. All I wanted to do was keep laughing at your bad accent”

“My accent was amazing”

“Amazingly bad... I love how you make me laugh”

Keith snorted

“You’re about the only person that finds me funny”

Nah. That wasn’t true, Keith was hilarious. Especially with that awful accent that worked like magic on him

“That’s their loss. I told my sister’s I’m pregnant. I mean, I can’t hide it, and even if it makes people awkward as long as you’re okay with it, I’m going keep working at being okay with it. These cramps suck, but we’ve made it over the halfway point, so it’s okay to believe it’s going to be okay, right?”

Lance had no idea that Braxton-Hicks would initially feel as weird as they did. They hurt a little, but were more weird. Reading about something was way different to going through it. In a way it’d been liberating to say it out loud. Almost like announcing he’d never be as happy as he was now with Keith and his family. That was kind of true. He’d been happier when Mami was alive, but there was no limitation of grief, and when he was down, he had Keith to kiss away his pain.

“Yeah. As long as you learn how to take it easy”

Fuck, he loved Keith. Teasing and all

“Rude. I was taking it easy today. Babe, you should have seen it. Blue and Kosmo were curled up with Matt and Rieva. I wish I’d gotten a photo of it”

“That would have been pretty cute. Where were you in all this cuddling?”

“Leaning against Rieva, reading to her. We had kind of a doggo spa day. I groomed her and Matt, and Kosmo and Blue. Then I made the most of having trouble werewolves to use hot water bottles”

“Babe, I don’t think you actually know how to take it easy. I’ve had my suspicions for a while now, but the point of taking it easy is to do nothing”

Keith couldn’t talk, he was literally the worst of them all at sitting still. Besides, it’d been bonding time for their little pack, the only thing that would have made it even better was if Keith had been home

“It was fun grooming Matt and Rieva. They malt so much that I had enough hair to give Matt a a full beard. Thanks for helping out Hunk today”

“They’ve done a lot for me so it was kind of the least I could do. You’re right though, I’m ready for bed”

“Wanna skip dessert and go upstairs instead?”

Lance hadn’t meant it as flirty as it sounded. Keith had helped him through his not-heat, and deserved some proper pampering

“Why there, sir, are you propositioning little old me?”

Lance groaned as the accent came out again. His boyfriend was such an idiot

“I was thinking of getting on top of you and giving you a massage”

“Or, I could give you a massage”

“As tempting as that is, I’ll take a rain check on it. You’ve spent the day working hard, I want to make you feel relaxed”

“I’m relaxed when I’m with you”

“Then think about relaxed you’re going to be afterwards”

“I’m going to be asleep”

“I’m down for that. Let’s finish dinner already so I can throw it all back up”

“That doesn’t sound romantic when you put it that way”

Lance wrinkled his nose. Vomiting was not romantic

“It’s not, but it was fun cooking with you beside me. We make a good team”

Lance meant it sincerely. Keith had come a long way in his kitchen skills... even with the potato massacre

“The best team of all, babe”

[oikaw-ugh]

LEIA!!!!!! 💖💞💗💕 HOW ARE YOU??! I saw you were doing match-ups! Can I have one but is it possible in a best friend way instead of lovers? Only if you want to and if you have time ofc! I'm 156 cm (almost 5'2 so don't call me 5'1 T^T) I barely get angry and I smile unconsciously a lot. (it's because I'm looking at your posts ;D jkjk) I'm a aquarius and I have hair which is a cross between Yachi's and Oik's hair. I look serious but actually am kinda sweet. Eh, if you need more deets, tell me!!😘

👁 PILAR BB HELLOOOOO THIS IS SO CUTE 🥺 was planning to do this the next weekend but as I write this (this paragraph), I am stuck in a group conference I don’t really want to. I hate the people and their humor :v that’s so rude of me.

And oooooh a bestfriend, now that's knew. But the moment I read this, the Holy Spirit told me your bestfriend would be...

Tsutomu Goshiki! (｡♡‿♡｡)

I don't know thoughhh but it just screamed Goshiki

Also, because you said you smile a lot? I think that makes Goshiki interested with you? But that’s just me LOL.

You’re childhood friends, alright?

Probably it’s either Goshiki’s family went to your neighborhood or yours to his!

But either way, we gotta thank your mothers for being so friendly with each other. If it weren’t for them, you wouldn’t be bestfriends with Goshiki!

Like, imagine your moms just chatting at the dining room, and like, you’re at the backyard playing with your toys?

Goshiki with that cute frown on his face: Wʜᴀᴛ...ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ...ᴅᴏɪɴɢ???

He thinks frowning is manly let the child be

Pilar: These are my toys. Do you want to play with me?

Goshiki: ...I ɢᴜᴇss I ᴄᴀɴ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ.

When you were youngerrrr (like elementary/middle school young)

I feel like Goshiki was a loner

Like, no. Not the sad loner. Just that awkward dude that nobody wants to be friends with.

Because he’s just so proud of himself and like??? we don’t really want a show off as a friend yk what I’m saying?

So Goshiki is contented with being friends with you!

Pilar: Goshiki, you should try to be friends with others.

Goshiki: Hmph! I don’t need them! I’m already great by myself!

Also Goshiki on the inside:  🥺😢

Somehow, you kind of felt like you need to be at Goshiki’s side all the time? Because you know that he knows that you both know that he’s just too shy good for everyone.

So you try to be there for him at all times

Which is like, not that much because you’re pretty friendly yourself.

So it’s inevitable that sometimes, you kind of forget about him as you mingle with your other friends.

Whenever this happened, Goshiki is just silent at his seat, glaring at you, mad. 

Mad at what? I don’t know? The leaf? He’s kind of confused himself. He didn’t know what to do.

Going home together is a thing too! 

Goshiki wouldn’t admit it but he loves to go home with you.

Because it’s more livelier with you around, especially with how easily you get distracted. + he can boast at you, too!

Both of you: *silently walking*

A cat/ a doggo: *breathes*

Pilar: gOSHIKI, LOOK!

Goshiki: *groans* 

But deep inside, he likes it when you two get sidetracked when going home.

He hates it when things suddenly don’t go according to plan?

One time it was already dismissal and it’s time to go home. 

But you were so into your friends’ conversation you didn’t even know it was time to go home and Goshiki is growing impatient on his seat.

Pilar: Goshiki! Let’s go home?

Goshiki: *scoffs at you while blushing in anger* Yeah, right! I can go home by myself!

but he waited for you lol

Highschoollll

I think this is where your friendship grows more.

To the point that you both went to Shiratorizawa because you didn’t want to be separated from each other.

Well, Goshiki went like, “I don’t care if you don’t go with me to Shiratorizawa! I can handle myself.” but we all know that’s a lie.

He wanted to be a volleyball player.

AND YOU’RE DEFINITELY SUPPORTING IT!

Mainly because volleyball is just a very crowded sport? And thinking of Goshiki interacting with other people just??? makes your heart??? melt???

you hope his arrogance do not piss them though

He tells you that he met the team’s ace. 

And like, he’s trying to dethrone him because their ace is actually very popular!

Pilar: Are you sure with that though?

Goshiki: Of course I am! What? You think I can’t do it?

Pilar: Nah. I know you can do it! *sincere smile*

Goshiki in a nutshell:

Let’s talk about you two on a daily basis

NON STOP BICKERING

IDKKKKK just casual fights though (LMAO IS THERE SUCH THING AS CASUAL FIGHTS????)

Goshiki is very proud and he does not hesitate to tease you >=]]]

Goshiki: This is why you’re still 5′1″. You keep on eating sweets. you need to eat healthy foods to become taller.

Pilar: eXCUSE ME I AM 5′2″

Honey, there’s really not much of a difference in the eyes of a 5′11″ :(((

The fights are really petty jdbfdf but like, not the types that make you go mad yk (I’m so sorry Pilar BB my words are just failing me).

Pilar: You’re supposed to put cereal before the milk, Goshiki!

Goshiki: CEREAL IS A SOUP. MILK BEFORE CEREAL!

Pilar: iT’S NOT A SOUP-

Things are shared between you two c:

Like, your classmates wouldn’t be surprised when today, Goshiki wears his purple varsity jacket and the next day, you arrive at school wearing it.

Pilar: Goshiki~ can I borrow your hankie?

Goshiki: Pilar, do you still have those oil absorbing sheets?

Pilar: Goshiki~ you’re going home late today, right? Should I leave my umbrella for you?

OH, AND BY THE WAY! Somehow, Goshiki is able to open up to others well now??? Like, the people around him just take his arrogance lightly? They love him AND THIS MAKES YOU SO PROUD.

Goshiki: ...Are you crying?

Pilar: No. I’m sweating with my eyes ;)

Suitors? Frowned upon.

A no-no for Goshiki >=[[[

Goshiki: Do you hear yourself? You think that guy can take care of you? Does he even know your zodiac sign?

Pilar:  👁 👄 👁

Pilar: ʷʰᵒ ᶜʰᵉᶜᵏˢ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᵖᵉᵒᵖˡᵉ'ˢ ᶻᵒᵈᶦᵃᶜ ˢᶦᵍⁿˢ ᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᶦʳˢᵗ ᵐᵉᵉᵗᵘᵖˀ

Pilar: ʷᵃᶦᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ᵐᶦⁿᵉˢˀ

But truth to be told, Goshiki is just uncomfortable with the thought that you might get hurt by other boys’ if ever you let them court you.

But your happiness >>>> before anything else so as much as Goshiki hates it, he’d let you entertain your suitors anyway...

BUT that does not mean he’s not going to pry >=[[[[

Your suitor(s) can only approach you at your BREAK TIMES

Break times=snacks and lunches WITH GOSHIKI

Your suitor is uncomfortable with Goshiki glaring at the side? TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.

Your suitor would like to drive/walk with you home? I’m sorry, Goshiki is already at the gate waiting for you

Goshiki: What? You’re taking her home? Do you even know where she lives? I’m the only one who know where she lives! *proud*

Goshiki: You don’t even know her mom!

You:

Your suitor: :V

You try to discuss this with Goshiki, though. But he is hardheaded!

Goshiki: I’m just trying to protect you! Those boys are just going to break your heart, you’ll see!

But anyways, at the end of the day, it’s: Goshiki >>>> before anyone else for your case so when your suitors couldn’t take Goshiki’s sharp tongue, I’m sorry then they’re not worth keeping.

Bye, bitch.

serious fights...

I think that could happen if Goshiki takes his sharp tongue too far!

Like, when he boasts too much he wouldn’t he has offended you?

It happens rarely since you aren’t the type who gets mad easily but whenever this happened, it takes sooo long to patch up?

And Goshiki at these times would be so down! The volleyball club would find it odd how he’s not saying his normal banters (like, he’s the better ace and stuff).

Your parents would find it odd how you went home alone when you’re usually with Goshiki?

Mom/Dad/relative: Pilar, you’re home? Where’s Goshiki?

You: I don’t know with that bowl cut pole.

Them: Ahhhhh. A fight.

I CAN SEE YOUR FAM AND GOSHIKI’S INTERVENING!!!!

Like, they’d purposely hold dinner together or something. And both of you are like: ???? of all times? Why?

Like, it’d be so cute if they’d let you buy something at the groceries for “dinner”. And you both would be so awkward because??? you’re in a fight.

Goshiki tries to break the ice first though. After hours of silence, he’d randomly say things like, “Hmph! The Milo model looks ugly. I look better than him!” he said that while reaching for the Milo in can.

And you’re like:...you’d look better if you change your haircut.

Goshiki, obviously offended: eXCUSE ME?!

And before you knew it, you two would laugh your ass off because of that and you’re back to being besties! :>>>

Here you go, Pilar! I’m sorry if this took long BB :> and I hope I’m accur8 or something ehehhe :))))

[lovemesomesurveys]

Can you unwrap a Starburst in your mouth? Nope.

What is the last thing you ate? Ramen.

Who is your favorite person to spend time with? My mom, brother, aunt, and doggo.

Have you ever had tendinitis? No.

What brand of face wash do you use? i don't use any.... i am a bad female. <<< I don’t either.

Do you know how to grill a steak? Nope. I’ve never attempted to or tried to learn. I don’t even like steak. I’ve never cooked anything on a grill and have no desire to, honestly. 

What were you wearing the last time you were kissed? I don’t remember, it was almost 10 years ago.

Have you ever been to a purse party? No. What is that? Does someone show and try to sell you purses or something?

Would you ever use an online dating service? Nah.

When is the last time you weighed yourself? I haven’t been weighed in several years.

Do you mosh when you go to concerts/shows? No.

Do you like Gushers? I did when I was a kid.

Are you good at multitasking? With some things. Although, I’m not nearly as good at it now as I used to be. I have trouble concentrating and staying focused these days due to my mental health and I get overwhelmed quite easily. I’ve been experiencing what I would say is like sensory overload as well.  

When’s the last time you went to a nightclub? I went once with a couple friends like 8 years ago. I wasn’t into it.

Where did you buy your favorite pair of jeans? All my jeans are from JCP.

Do you have a large dog? No, she’s a medium sized doggo.

What is more annoying: A sore throat or a headache? I’d have to go with the sore throat because there’s not a whole lot you can do about it. In fact, I don’t think anything helps for me with a sore throat. It makes it difficult to swallow, which is something you do a lot, and to eat and drink. With headaches, I can’t do a whole lot about those either cause I can’t take aspirin or Tylenol (because it has acetaminophen and so does the pain medication I regularly take, and too much of that can cause liver damage. It doesn’t do anything for me for headaches anyway), and stuff like Ibuprofen doesn’t do shit for my headaches. However, lying down with a cold washcloth over my eyes does help a little and sleeping does as well. 

What was your GPA last semester? I’ve been done with school for 6 years now.

Do you like walking places? No.

Are you a fan of bands most people don’t know of? Most of what I listen to is pretty well known stuff.

What time is it right now? 5:27AM.

When’s the last time you wore goggles? For the biology class I took in community college. I think I took the class in 2010 or 2011.

Have you ever been to Europe? No, but I’d love to go.

Do you yell at other drivers while you drive? I don’t drive, but I know I’d be the one who just talks crap to themselves about it in the car and complains about it to someone else.

Are you good at playing Darts? I haven’t played since I was a kid. My dad used to have a dart set in the garage.

Can you legally consume alcohol? If not, do you anyways? Yeah, I’m 31 years old, I just choose not to anymore.

Do you like zebra print and would you wear it? No.

Are “school friends” and friends different to you? Yeah. I had people I just talked to in class, but never hung out with or talked to outside of that.

When is the last time you laid out and tanned? I don’t do that. I happen to get a little tan whenever I go to the beach cause I sit out there for hours, but I don’t go to the beach to tan if that makes sense.

Would you rather date a brunette or a blonde? I don’t care about that. I’m concerned with their personality, who they are as a person, and if we have a connection.

Do you have friends in other states than your own? I don’t have friends, period.

Have you ever fake tanned? (Spray or bed) Nope.

Do lots of kids at your high school do drugs? (At my school it’s normal) I’ve been out of high school for a very long time now, but yeah it was no secret a lot of people did drugs.

What kind of computer do you have? A 2017 MacBook Air.

Would you rather use colored pencils or crayons? Colored pencils.

Can you drive well? I don’t drive.

Have you ever sent an X-Rated picture to someone? No. What bothers you the most about your town? It’s a shitty town.

Can you actually play an instrument or do you say it to be cool? I cannot. I wouldn’t lie about being able to play an instrument.

Flip flops or Birkenstock sandals? Neither. I don’t wear sandals, flip flops, or any open toed shoes.

Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? Sure. They’re not something I often get, though.

Are you a fan of plug in air fresheners? I like the wallflowers from Bath and Body Works.

Do you like mad libs? Yeah, I think they’re fun.

How are you? I feel exhausted, drained, and crappy.

Besides this website, what other websites do you visit frequently? YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook.

What part of your body are you most insecure about? I’m insecure about everything.

What's one food you would be surprised to hear that someone doesn't like? It’s not a food, but I don’t understand how there’s people who don’t like coffee. 

Do you think your voice is higher or lower than average? Lower.

Have you ever slept for such a long period of time that you felt tired throughout the next day? Yeppp. Taking a nap makes me feel like that, too.

Are you comfortable discussing bodily functions with your friends? I’ve never been comfortable discussing that kind of stuff. I don’t feel the need to share things like that or hear about other people’s bodily function stories. 

[hawthornewhisperer]

I have a prompt for you! Geralt and Yen each on some sort of road trip or backpacking adventure but they keep bumping into the other at every stop along the way. Bonus points if they end up sharing the last room/bed at the hotel/hostel. Love your work!

Do I know literally anything about camping and/or hiking? No, not really. Did I research anything? Also no.

Read on Ao3.

The moment the first snowflake hit her face, Yennefer knew she was screwed.  A series of mishaps on the trail earlier had sent her tumbling into a stream, and her normally waterproof backpack had come undone and now every single thing she had on her person was soaked. She had managed to mostly dry out the clothes she was wearing before she started back to the trail, but everything else— her tent, her sleeping bag, her extra warm layers— remained too damp and chilly to use. She was still over a mile from her campsite, where she’d been planning on building an enormous fire to dry out and warm up, but a thick layer of snow would severely complicate that plan.

Within minutes, the single snowflake had turned into a full on snowstorm.  Trees and branches were coated with white, and her feet made muffled sounds as the snow piled up on the trail.  “Shit,” she muttered to herself. “Shit shit shit.” Up ahead, a tiny ribbon of smoke curled above the trees, and she decided for once, she’d try throwing herself at the mercy of strangers.  It was better than dying of hypothermia or having to call for a medical evacuation, at least. Yennefer checked the knife in her ankle holster— useful for cutting vines, stubborn knots, and stabbing unwanted male suitors— and quickened her pace.

The source of the smoke was a tiny cabin, not a campsite, with a small sign that said it belonged to the Park Service.  Please let it be him, she prayed, knocking on the door.  There was no answer, but Yennefer wasn’t about to give up on her possible savior that easily.

A thwack sounded from behind the cabin, followed by another.  She trudged through the rapidly deepening snow, around the porch to the small downslope behind the cabin.  And there, at the base, he stood.

She would have preferred he be shirtless, but it was a snowstorm, after all.  Geralt in a tight black henley chopping wood was almost as good, because even from a distance she could see the definition in his shoulders and arms.  An enormous dog let out a woof, bounding towards her as Geralt dropped the axe.  “Roach, down!” he yelled, but Yennefer had already thrown her arms around the dogs neck for a good cuddle.

There was something like a smile on his face as he approached.  “Thought you were aiming to be past here by now,” he said, taking in her no-doubt bedraggled appearance.  “Wasn’t that the plan?”

Yennefer had met Geralt three days ago, when he passed her campsite in the course of some routine trail maintenance.  They’d talked for only a few minutes— with a fair amount of innuendo between them— and secretly, she’d been hoping to run into him again ever since.

“It was, but mother nature had other plans.”

“She’s a real bitch, that one,” he agreed.  “You okay?”

“I need your help, actually,” Yennefer said, surprised by how easily those words left her lips.  She couldn't remember the last time she asked another human for help.  “Fell in a stream a few miles back and the catch on my bag came open. Everything’s soaked, and with the snow—”

Geralt nodded.  “You can stay with me tonight while it dries.  Better than me having to come pick up your corpse because you died of hypothermia.”

“So glad we see eye to eye on that,” she bantered, and his real smile in return did more to warm her than the biggest bonfire she could imagine.

Geralt’s cabin even had running water and a small solar powered water heater, which meant Yennefer got to take her first hot shower in three weeks.  The bathroom was hardly bigger than a closet, and as she stood in the hot water she couldn’t help but think about Geralt squeezing his bulk into the tiny shower, soaping up the hard planes of his chest, hand reaching down to stroke—

She stopped her brain before it went any further, if only because she’d already been in the shower a little too long.  Fantasizing about him while getting herself off would just waste more water. He’d given her a clean flannel shirt and a pair of sweatpants that she had to cinch tightly and roll up half a dozen times at the ankle to make them even sort of fit, but for the first time since she lost her footing crossing the stream, Yennefer was warm and dry.

It was glorious.  Geralt did the slightest of double takes when she strolled out of the bathroom in his clothes, but otherwise he was the perfect gentleman.  Which honestly, was sort of annoying. It was blizzarding out and they were stuck in a 500 square foot cabin; the least he could do is offer to ravage her.

But no, when it was time to go to sleep, Geralt simply told her to take the bed and stretched out on the floor in front of the wood burning stove in a sleeping bag.  Initially, she followed his lead and climbed into the bed, but ten minutes later he was tossing fitfully on the floor, trying to get comfortable, and she decided she was done with the propriety game he was playing.

“Just join me in the bed, Geralt,” she said into the darkness.

Geralt hesitated before answering. “The bed isn’t very big.”

He wasn’t wrong, but also, Yennefer really care.  “So? There’s space.”

He huffed out a laugh. “I don’t know if you noticed this, but I’m...kind of big too.  I take up a lot of space.”

Kind of big was an understatement.  The man was built like a brick house.  And she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t gotten herself off several times over the past few days to the thought of him bearing down on her, his weight pinning her to the mattress while he fucked her into oblivion.

But she didn’t think telling him that would convince him, so instead she just laughed airily.  “Why do you think I’m asking you to join me? It’s cold, and I bet you’re warm.”

He made a noise that might have been a laugh or a grunt, but then the floorboards creaked and the other side of the mattress dipped under his weight.  He did take up most of the bed, but she was right— he was warmer than a furnace, and Yennefer snuggled back against him and let him wrap his arm around her waist.  “Don’t know that I would have taken you for a cuddler,” she teased.

Geralt slid his leg over hers and didn’t even complain when her icy toes touched his feet.  “There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” he said in a low growl. She grinned to herself and let him tug her even closer.

And the next morning when she woke, she only had to crane her neck to meet his lips in a slow, easy kiss.

A/N: I feel like people might get mad at me for making Roach a dog, but a) he's a very good doggo and b) it'd be weird for Park Ranger!Geralt to have a horse, no?